Slow Dancing in a Burning Room
by Well-Hello-Bright-Eyes
Summary: Armin Arlert and Eren Yeager had always been two peas in a pod, even as Eren rose in popularity in highschool. And along with all of the other girls, Armin fell for his best friend but is too scared to tell him. When he does tell him, their relationship changes forever, from Senior year until the very end. But through everything, Armin wouldn't change a thing. EreMin. M for later.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

It started in the second grade, when Armin Arlert was the weakest of the children in his grade. He was never a big child: even at birth, he was brought into the world as a measly six and a half pounds. His father took one look at him and shook his head, announcing he'd have a girl for a son and walked out to go to the bars. Armin wasn't blessed with the strength of the blossoming alpha males, growing up by the hands of supportive dads, laughing when they got into a fight."Boys will be boys!" They would humorously roar at Armin's grandfather, his guardian, when the principal called both families in for a fight that Armin had 'gotten into'. Sure, _strong_ boys will be boys. Kids like Armin were always told to stay out of trouble when the bullies received a fond smile and a ruffle of the hair before being shooed out of the office.

"Mr. Arlert, you know that bullying isn't tolerated. If Armin is in here one more time, he, too, will be suspended. I'm sorry, Mr. Arlert, but those are my rules and the board of education's rules. One more slip up, and it won't be shoved aside." The principle told Armin's grandfather over the phone. Edward Arlert almost always put his work before his grandson to pay for their living expenses and the debts racked up from his son and daughter-in-law's funerals. Armin could hear his grandfather yelling over the phone and he winced, visibly, looking down at his knees. His principal wasn't able to get a word in edgewise with the man so she told him to have a good day and hung up. She turned back to the little boy and sighed. "You're dismissed, Armin. Be good, okay?" She offered a smile and stood, leading him to the door. The child just looked down at his feet and began to cry, wiping his face on his sleeve. It was hard not being listened to, being alone at school and at home. He wish it would change.

That year, winter came fast and Armin's grandfather wasn't prepared to clothe him properly, too depressed to go to his son's house and bring home Armin's snow pants, boots, and coat. The first snowfall, Armin stayed inside during recess and it made him sad that he couldn't go play tag with the people who invited him to play at lunch. He looked down at the coloring book his teacher gave him to work on, too sad to draw anything. He let his mood consume him until the rest of the day when his class lined up to go to the buses. He hung onto his bag and watched as the two boys who pushed and hit him weeks ago now rough housed with each other. They noticed that Armin was watching and the chubbier of the two glared.

"What are you looking at, sissy?" He sneered and his friend giggled. Armin looked down to his untied shoes and tried not to cry again. He didn't even notice that the kid who spoke to him grabbed his shirt collar and yelled at him. "Hey! I was talking to you!" and pinched his nose. Surprised at the attacks, Armin yelped and tried pushing the other away when suddenly the two were pulled apart by a stronger kid. This time, when Armin opened his eyes, the stronger of the three was punching the chubbier kid in the nose. Muffled cries came from those around them and his teacher pulled the boys off each other. From down the hall way, two adults and a young girl with long black hair rushed toward the crowd. Even though the boy (whom Armin had never seen before) was pulled away from his opponent, he still struggled toward the kid and glared.

Of the pair of grown ups that were by the teachers, the man huffed and took the boy away from Armin's teacher, holding him by his arm. "Eren Jaeger! You calm down this instant!" The man, who seemed to be the father, hissed to his boy and looked back at the principal. "I...I'm sorry, Principal. Eren isn't normally like this. He will be in for a scolding, don't you worry." The principal stared at the man with an open mouth and nodded. "Just...make sure that nothing like this happens again. He can start school the week after next. Consider this his first suspension, Mr and Mrs. Jaeger."

Armin couldn't believe it and neither could his peers. This boy from no where just came and saved Armin from being hurt, and even worse, in trouble with his elders. He watched as his teacher lead the students to the buses, somehow forgetting about Armin, as had the other adults who attended to the bully by taking him to the infirmary. His bright blue eyes looked at the family in front of him and took one very brave step forward. "U-Um, excuse me?" He said softly through the arguing of Mr. Jaeger and his son.

The boy looked at his soon-to-be peer and immediately forgot about his dad and gave his full attention to Armin. "Hey! Are you okay, kid?" he asked, his green eyes striking Armin as the prettiest things he'd ever seen. Armin blushed over the volume of this kid's voice and nodded, smiling a little. It fell when the man sighed and started tugging on Eren's hand so they could go back to the tour the principle was giving the family. The boy pouted at his father and smiled at Armin and told him his name, taking out his opposite hand. "Can we be friends?" He asked, smiling with a missing tooth. He jabbed his chubby little hand at the blond's chest. The smaller of the two smiled and shook it. "Deal."

When Eren's father finally got him to come with, Armin looked at the spot that his new friend stood, sighing softly. He'd have to wait a whole two weeks to see him again. Hopefully, time would fly by so he wouldn't feel so alone.

Armin waited every day for his new friend to come around so he could see him and thank him properly for pushing the bully off of him. It wasn't until the Friday before the next week started that his teacher introduced Eren Jaeger as their new student and they got to see each other again. He didn't have time to say hi, however, as Eren was taken by his parents to talk to his new teacher. Armin decided not to talk to him and wait until Monday. He couldn't wait to see him.

* * *

That Monday, Eren ran up to Armin, surprising him with a hug. "Hi, Armin! How are you? Did those bullies bug you again?" He asked as they walked to their desks. Armin smiled and shook his head. "No. Thank you for helping me. I'm sorry you got in trouble. Are you okay?" he asked, sitting down and opening up his desk and taking out his colored pencils. The dark haired boy beside him laughed and shrugged. "I'm okay." he said.

During class, Eren made him giggle and feel one hundred percent better than he ever had. During lunch and recess, Eren never left Armin's side and they played hide and seek in the play ground equipment. He was beyond happy to have a person like Eren with him.

Weeks went by and Armin had met Eren's adopted sister Mikasa who was in fourth grade because she got to skip third. Sadly, they never saw much of her. Armin though she was just as cool as her brother and wanted to get to know her better too.

At the end of the year, Armin made a pact with Eren that he'd come visit in the summer every day so they could play together. It was sad how when Armin's grandfather had his one day off, they drove over to the Jaeger household that they were going to visit family for a month of the vacation. It dampened Armin's spirits and it scared him that Eren would never come back for him, leave like the rest of everyone else he'd loved. But, at the end of the month, Eren came back and surprised Armin with a sleep over and filled the rest of the summer with games and fun.

School years passed, along with birthdays, first baseball games, band concerts, and award ceremonies. Armin soaked it up gracefully until high school where Eren slowly became more and more popular with girls and kids in the higher grades. Eren went on first dates and went on to be quarterback for their high school team, the Titans without Armin, but he was right there for him, however, and Eren was always appreciative. They stayed close after so many years, no secret was kept from the other up until Senior year. Armin was always told thats when things would turn around. It would be the settling point of how their relationship would last. Screwing up by not being there for Eren didn't scare Armin.

What scared him was that his biggest secret since ninth grade was that he fell for Eren. Armin Arlert was in love with his best friend, Eren Jaeger. His reaction would be the scariest thing.

But he had to tell him. He would tell him.

He just prayed to whatever God that watched over him to not make a fool of himself.

* * *

Hello! This is my first Shingeki no Kyojin fanfiction. There will be slight mentions of other ships, but this is a regular, Highschool AU EreMin. Funny enough, I had this idea while doing dishes at work. Hopefully I can work out some of the kinks in my head and make this into something seriously cool! I haven't really written in a whileee ;w;

Thank you for making it this far and I hope I see you all by the end of this monster!


	2. Pt 1-Ch 1: In the Darkest Light

Part One – Chapter one: In the Darkest Light

The day Armin turned sixteen, it was like the invisible light bulb over his head suddenly turned on as he was blowing out the candles on his birthday cake.

All he saw from across the table was years of laughter, emeralds against the current of almost black hair as it fell lazily on those sunny days when they'd lie in fields of wild flowers until sunset. He saw the past, present and future in one enigma of a person, who's hands strongly carved away time from Armin's soul, making him age, his mind mature. Eren wasn't a destruction to the young boy, but the driving force behind his life constantly moving forward, his inspiration, his soul mate? Maybe that was too deep for teenagers, but in that split second, when his eyes caught his best friend singing to him, laughing, and clapping, he was forever lost and he never wanted to come back to reality. That much he knew.

Since then, Armin had grown bashful around his best friend, always falling a few steps behind him to admire how strong he'd become, how mature (– well, as far as bodily maturing went. Honestly, Eren could be kind of a douche bag, but not on purpose. He had to be around the right people, like his friends from football. It didn't bother him, however, because Eren was always kind of a rude and ambitious child. He never changed, which Armin loved deeply ). As far as Armin knew, Eren never let on that he knew, or, sadly, felt the same way. When Eren when on his first date with a girl in a lower grade, it broke his best friend's heart and he sulked about it in his bedroom that night. He was there when Eren called him and told him how lame she was and it made Armin's spirits lift – but only a little.

Everyday, Eren was called out by cute girls, patted on the back by his rough friends and it felt as if Armin was slipping out of the inner circle that revolved around the boy he loved, but no matter how high the walls became around the "fortress", Eren always broke it down and called to Armin, as if he knew his best friend was upset. It was a comfort and it never went away through out all of their ups and downs.

Armin prayed that it would be the same this year; their last year.

Armin's eyes focused in on his reflection in the bathroom mirror. Having just woken up for the first day of his senior year, his hair was in an extreme disarray, his white night shirt hanging off his naturally small figure. He looked tired but he smiled at himself before he yawned and stretched his arms over his head. He felt stupid dazing off like he had and tried not to make it into a habit as he washed his hair under the bathtub faucet and dressed in his blue jeans and button up check shirt. He grabbed his jacket and bag before running down the creaking steps of the house he and his grandfather lived in.

He saw the elderly man drinking his coffee and he stood, smiling a little. "My, you're really spiffied up today." He commented and Armin shrugged. "It's just a regular day, Gramps." Walking into the kitchen, he grabbed some orange juice and the toast that was made for him. "I'm going to head out, I'll miss the bus." He said before his grandfather lifted out his arms for a hug, dismissing his guardian. "I love you!" he shouted before he slammed the door and headed off the porch and down the walkway to the dirt road.

Slowly, Armin started eating the toast and thought about how his year would go. Maybe it would be like all of those eighties movies where the girl always gets the guy, mischief would ensue and no one would get in trouble and then the credits will have one of those songs that was still so popular not to play on the radio, even though it was made for the movie years ago. Or maybe this year will be like all the rest, where Armin's most exciting adventure is another night of homework. He didn't even want to think about prom. He could already see the people who were waiting to ask him.

Yeah right.

This made his head fall as he walked, feeling a little sad. And what would happen if he did confess to Eren? Nothing would come of it, he was sure. Just an "Oh, Armin, you're funny, Man!" or the dreaded "Whoa, that's not what I want from this and I can't be friends with you". Armin groaned aloud, as he clenched his fist. It wouldn't end up like that. He didn't want to aim for something so horrible as losing Eren because of his feelings. He stopped in his tracks and looked down at his beaten up converse and sighed at their mud caked sides, closing his eyes.

If that ever did happen, he would lose the only thing that brought that extra light into his life. His house wasn't a home with his grandfather as a shell of a person who lost his son and didn't think much of Armin when he was sober. Eren and Mikasa were his only friends, besides those who would talk with him but never hang out unless it was in a group. Honestly, Eren was his only hope in the world, the chain keeping him grounded so he wouldn't float away. It was upsetting to think about Eren leaving him because of the feelings that he couldn't control, even if he wanted to. It was even more upsetting not telling him in the first place. It sucked how the cons outweighed the pros in this situation and he just wanted to do what might be best for both of them, even if it didn't benefit either of them.

Suddenly, Armin's head shot up as he heard the bus approach where he was standing. He moved out of the way and boarded when it stopped, climbing up the steps to sit at his usual spot against the window. He looked out as he was whisked away to school. It was hard to believe it was almost over for him. It seemed like yesterday he started.

Through his haze, he didn't even notice that he was off the bus and to his locker, already trying to get the lock off of the door until he felt an arm wrap around his waist and a set of knuckles digging into his scalp and messing up his hair. "O-Ow! Eren, get off of me!" Armin giggled, but struggled as the boy gripped him tighter. "Hey! I missed you." he laughed, pinching Armin's cheek when he released his friend. "Is that any way to talk to me?" Eren asked softly and Armin just punched his arm. "It is when your friend is a big bully." he winked and grabbed his books from his bag and placed them inside of his locker. He heard the taller scoff and watched him lean against the red of the lockers.

"So, how was your vacation? Did you find anything interesting?" Armin asked Eren. The brunette shrugged and sighed. "Not really. Dad just did his work and mom and Mikasa went shopping." He always looked so cool. However, his lack of interest bothered him. Armin shook his head and closed his locker door, his books against his chest. "So, you didn't have fun?" He asked softly, trying not to pry. They started walking to the auditorium with the rest of their grade and Eren stopped suddenly and laughed. "You think I have fun without you? It sucks you couldn't come with." He stated and it made Armin blush softly. He shrugged and they picked up the pace with everyone else. "You know I would have loved to be there, Eren."

Armin felt easier with Eren by his side again as they walked into the auditorium where their principal would lecture them about being the role models and any new changes to the rules. Eren plopped down next to Armin and the smaller couldn't help stealing glances in the dark, his emerald eyes staring attentively at the stage, the light from the projector illuminating his eyes. Armin swallowed softly, feeling like this was the best thing in the world he could be seeing right then. If he had no control, he'd probably close his eyes and lean forward onto Eren. He was probably as warm as he always was, and soft; sturdy but comfortable. He wondered what it would be like melting into his best friend, if only for a moment. He sighed and looked back to the stage, his hands gently in his lap.

It took a whole hour and a half for the principal to explain everything, conclude his speech, and take questions from the students who weren't messing around. In that time, Armin tore apart his flier for the upcoming events for the school, making designs and a mess in his lap and around his feet. When the lights kicked on, he jumped and looked around him and then up at Eren, who had already stood. He looked at what Armin had occupied himself with and laughed. "Wow, you must really hate the idea of homecoming, huh?" At that, Armin just stood and shrugged. "I suppose. Maybe it's because I know I won't get a date." Armin joked but Eren stopped him by putting his large hands on his shoulders and turning his friend.

"Hey, what makes you say that?" He asked and sighed when Armin shrugged lazily. "...Hey, listen. You are the smartest, funniest, raddest dude I know, got it? Who wouldn't accept you for who you are? Why else do you think those guys stopped wailing on you when I came around?" Eren chuckled and pushed his friend around and back out of the isle. "Now move, before our feet get stuck in the sap." He laughed and this made Armin smile. He really hoped he meant those kind words.

* * *

During the middle of the summer, Eren was signed up for football and went to practice almost every day until he went to Hawaii for the rest of his summer break. He loved getting out and playing football for the Titans, as all of his friends were his team mates and together they were a force to be reckoned with against any other team that came in their path. Eren knew he was strong. Armin watched him push the football dummies across the green grass as the whistle blew from Coach Erwin in the middle of the field, smiling at how good he was at this. It was a great way to get rid of that teenage anger that he harbored, and in a healthy way.

Armin looked away from Eren for a moment to focus on his biology paper. They were already a month in and their gym teacher slash football coach was really pushing his boys to pick up their pace and stop "pussy footing around and get their asses out there" for the big Homecoming football game. It was kind of upsetting that the game was the same day as Armin's birthday but Eren promised they'd celebrate over the weekend by playing video games at his house and eating birthday cake until they puke. Armin was always disgusted and strangely fond of Eren's gross terms but it always made him smile.

Looking back up, he saw Eren peering up at him and smiling. Armin managed to smile back but it faded when Eren turned back around and ran toward Jean Kirstein, pushing him playfully over as he was getting his jersey off his back. He shook his head and referred back to his text book for an answer he was looking for.

After practice, Eren came running up to Armin on the bleachers and stuck his sweaty jersey around Armin's neck, making the blond gag. "Ugh! Get it off of me." he whined, pushing away from his friend, making the taller laugh. "Wow, you aren't fun." Eren huffed and started down the bleacher steps when Armin packed up. They started walking to Eren's car, making small talk when they stopped before getting inside. Armin tilted his head. "...What's up?" he asked, trying to pry the car door open. Eren shrugged and unlocked his car. "Nothing. I was just thinking...there was a girl sitting on the bleachers above you. She kept looking at me." he blushed slightly and shrugged. "I was just thinking that she was...kind of cute."

Armin felt like his heart was just ripped from his chest and thrown off a cliff to the hungry wolves below. He nodded and in spite of himself, he smiled and nodded, almost sarcastically. "Oh yeah. You should ask her out." He commented, his mouth going dry. Before he got into the car he rolled his eyes and he heard a bang on the car roof. "Armin, that's a great idea!' Eren swung the door open as he laughed and got into the car, bouncing in his seat, "You are such a genius. Maybe she has a friend, eh?"

Armin didn't feel the jabs of Eren's elbow but he smiled and shrugged as the lump in his throat threatened to rise. Armin kept it down long enough to comment.

"Yeah...maybe."


	3. Pt 1-Ch 2:Please Don't Forget Me

Part One - Chapter two: Please Don't Forget Me

There was a warmth that surrounded Armin Arlert when he felt the grasp of a hand on his shoulder from behind him. He took one breath in before he turned and his eyes met green gems, tilting his head just the slightest bit so he could look into them properly. Slowly, he breathed out as the hand of his best friend slowly, gently trailed down his arm, fingertips tickling the hairs that grew there. He didn't smile as Eren's hand took his own and raised it to his face, smiling softly. At this, Armin briefly looked toward his hand and flickered his eyes back into Eren's. He swallowed.

"How long have you known?" He asked, just above a whisper. Armin waited for the response as the taller let his hand free and cupped his cheek, tan skin on ivory. A gentle smile still played on Eren's lips as he answered, "Since the first day we met."

The soft words, like honey, tickled the blond's mouth as his friend spoke, reaching up to hold onto Eren's arm, as if he would leave without warning. He searched Eren's soul through his eyes and saw no reason to back away or run; he saw what he'd always seen in his love. He felt the warmth sweep over him again as Eren took a step forward, barely leaving any room between them, his other hand resting on Armin's waist. The shorter gasped ever so slightly and flushed. This made his friend smile again.

"...What...does that mean for us?" The blond inquired, licking his lips. Man, it was really getting warm between them. His gaze never broke from those emeralds that kept his eyes involuntarily locked under Eren's scrutiny.

And in one sweeping motion, Eren pulled Armin closer, closing his eyes, his lips barely touching the blond's before a shudder wracked through Armin. This caused him to open his eyes and pale as he saw his human biology teacher, Dr. Hanji Zoe, smiling with crossed arms. She peered at him through her thick glasses.

"Really, Arlert, I didn't know my class was so boring to have to daze out." She laughed loudly and ruffled his choppy hair. Armin blushed about twenty shades of red as his teacher walked back to her chalk board and began writing and continuing her lesson. Everyone around Armin stared at him and giggled a little. The blond groaned and wanted to hide or throw up.

He cursed himself for dazing out like he had. He never did so! Not that it wasn't a nice day dream, but the fact was that...it was just a day dream. Armin felt a little colder as the sunshine that made it's way through the window by his seat was taked away by a cloud covering the sun; that or it was the reality that he just embarrassed himself in front of his peers because his dreams wouldn't become a reality. They were just dreams after all.

'But it had to have meant something!' Armin thought, looking at the assignment paper handed back to him by the kid in front of him. He flushed again and sank in his seat, sighing softly. 'Of course it didn't mean anything, you idiot. Eren plans on asking that girl out for Homecoming. She keeps showing up to the football practices, always sitting in the same spot as last time. You know it's just not going to happen for you.'

Sadly, Armin tuned in to Dr. Zoe's explanation of the bones in the human skull and told everyone to turn in their books for the reading selection for today's lesson. The bell rang just in time and everyone began to stand, excluding Armin.

Hanji sighed and put her hands on her hips. "Everyone read chapter four and get their assignments done by tomorrow! We'll grade in class first thing!" She raised her voice over the announcements and dismissed everyone by standing at the door. The brunette noticed that Armin was the last out of the door. She loudly exhaled and closed the door before he could get out. "Sit down, Arlert." Hanji instructed and sat on a desk next to him. Luckily, she didn't have another class until fourth period so they had no one coming in to interrupt.

Armin reluctantly sat and looked at his teacher, holding his books to his chest. "Yes?" He asked meekly before Dr. Zoe sighed a little softer this time. She shook her head and took off her glasses, which she proceeded to clean on her lab coat. "...Honey, these past two weeks have been difficult for you. This is the third time I've called you out in class and the second that I've stopped you so we could get to the bottom of this. Are you feeling alright?" She asked.

Armin was a little surprised at his teacher. Normally, she was this big weirdo who had this obsessive and almost erotic thing about anatomy and the make up of all living things. She was loud and a little nuts and the first time he'd been stopped, she'd told him to simply "not slack off because you are the best student I have". It was almost out of character, from what Armin had known of his teacher and it practically made him want to run away.

Instead, Armin shook his head and scratched the back of his neck. "...Not p-particularly." He shrugged and looked down at his worn converse. At his, Hanji adjusted herself and cleared her throat. "...Do you need to talk about anything?" She asked softly and to this Armin shook his head. "No. It's just...silly." he laughed softly and at this, the brunette stood and poked his forehead.

"You're _being _silly. If you're truthful with yourself, you'll see that you are." She walked to her desk and sat down. "Armin, listen to me, because this is as serious as it gets before I start paying you for my advice." At this, Armin chuckled softly. She continued. "You've been a student of mine since seventh grade. You are the brightest student I have and you always make me happy to see you every day. Whatever is troubling you, I know you have the mental capacity to get over it or make it right. You've always been the little peace maker with Eren and his rough, idiotic football friends. You should start centering that peace inside of you so you can get out of this slump."

Opening a drawer in her desk, Hanji took out a pink slip and began writing. "Give this to Levi and send him my apologies for keeping you." She said, holding out the slip for Armin to take. He took a step forward to grab it, but Hanji smiled when she took it out of his grasp. "You smiled when I mentioned Yeager's name. You'd better tell him, kid."

Armin paled when she looked right at him and smirked, handing him the slip again. "What? You don't think teachers don't gossip too?" She laughed and shooed him away. "And don't forget that assignment!" She called as the next bell for third hour rang. This made Armin nod, but turn on his heal and run to his locker. Great, that must mean that everyone knew. Everyone – except Eren. Ugh.

* * *

During lunch, Armin always sat outside under the big oak on the grounds between buildings. Nibbling at the things he grabbed in a variety boat that the cafeteria gave out instead of the main lunch (today, it was this really disgusting chicken florentine with corn and a brownie. The idea of those foods being together as a single entrée gave Armin indigestion), he tried to finish his work. He was granted a ham and cheese sandwich, an apple, and some teddy grams that he slowly ate as he worked- however, the wind made it difficult for Armin to concentrate on his sheet and he sighed aloud before just putting his the paper in his book, setting it aside. Closing his eyes, he leaned his head against the tree, feeling a some leaves fall on his hands and hair.

How did Dr. Zoe know about his infatuation? Maybe it was obvious - or it was just the fact that she didn't make it difficult to read people. She was originally a psychology major, but he didn't think he was just another experiment to look into. He definitely didn't want to be one. However, he thought back to what she'd said; he did need to read himself and honestly figure out what was really causing all of his feelings, but it honestly scared him. Armin knew how he felt about Eren – the only thing that plagued his mind was what Eren would think of him and how different they could be if Armin was ever truthful about it with the brunette.

At the same time, he thought of his day dream but his heart screamed at him that it was just a dream, that he had to be realistic. With a pained expression he sighed.

Armin was torn from his moment as he felt someone crouch next to him and shout, "Oi". This made him yelp and he nearly jumped a mile in the air. He swung his head to the direction of the laughter that followed assault and he glared, seeing Eren on the ground, his face red already. "Ow! Why can't you be nicer?" Armin scolded him, hitting him with his textbook as Eren continued to roll around. With a slight pout, Armin sat back where he was and crossed his arms until Eren's laughter subsided and he wiped his tears.

"Sorry, Armin." He snorted, trying to catch his breath. "It was just too easy, I would have regretted this on my death bed." Armin pushed him over again and slapped the back of his head. "Oh, you'll regret it...!" He yelled - half playfully, half still really mad and deaf in his left ear - as he continued hitting him with his text book. Eren just rose an eyebrow, wincing at times. "Ow, don't, that hurts Armin." He told him in the flattest voice he could manage before standing and leaning against the tree.

Armin pushed the hair out of his face and put away his book again. Lunch was almost over and he barely touched his food. As if on cue, Eren looked at the food and asked if he was going to finish what he had. With a simple shake of his head, he picked up the container and handed it to his friend. "No...I'm not really feeling hungry." He said softly before standing and shaking off his old blue jeans. "How was your lunch?" He asked, noticing Eren had his book with him too. "Did you actually work during your free time?" He mocked, snickering at his friend.

With his cheek full of teddy grams, Eren glowered at Armin. Honestly, he could be such a dork. After Eren chewed and swallowed, he shrugged simply before moving to the half eaten apple. "Eh, my grades are sucking and Coach stopped me before lunch about my missing homework in English. You know how close Mr. Rivaille and Coach are." At that, Eren shuddered, continuing after finishing the apple and spitting a seed out. "So, I went back to my locker and grabbed something to do."

Armin smiled at Eren and laughed. "I am proud. Mr. Anti-Establishment is following the rules and playing nice. I wonder what will happen in the next episode?" He giggled but Eren remained serious. Armin noticed this and cleared his throat before Eren said something that almost scared him.

"I need to be in football, Armin. We're going to kill and bury the other team for Homecoming." His eyes flicked to the ground before looking at Armin. "We have to." he laughed weakly and tossed the food container into the garbage. Armin nodded and looked to the ground. "That's a...little dark, isn't it?" He asked as they began walking back to the school. He watched as Eren took out a sucker and put it in his mouth before placing his hands in his pocket. He shrugged simply and smiled. "Is it?"

"Well...yeah. Actually, no. You've always been aggressive." Armin snorted and Eren laughed.

"See? It's not out of context." Eren commented before waving at his teammate Jean Kirstein who gave him the middle finger in return. Armin watched the display and shook his head. "I guess not."

Eren walked in front of Armin and turned around to face him, walking backwards. "Yeah? Hey, will you be at practice? I need you for something." He smiled. It looked like he was barely able to contain it. At Eren's inquiry, Armin shrugged. "I guess. Why? What do you need?"

Eren pulled him aside and took the sucker from his mouth, away from the other students headed to their lockers for their next class. "Because," the brunette started and made them walk down an otherwise empty corridor past the choir and band rooms. It was almost like one of Armin's fantasies, except his mind told him that this wasn't one. Patiently, he waited for Eren's explanation.

'I'm planning on asking that girl to Homecoming." He said, stopping. Armin just smiled and nodded. "S-Sure...but why do you want me there" He asked. '_To humiliate you and show you I couldn't give a shit about your feelings?' _Armin thought maliciously, clenching his jaw. Eren laughed and slapped his arm, giving him a look. "Because, you're my best friend. I want you to be with me." He shrugged and they continued back to their lockers.

Armin laughed dryly and commented, "That's not a good reason." He almost spat this words and he didn't realise that he'd said them like that until Eren turned and put his hands back in his pockets, moving the sucker stick from one side of his mouth to the other side. He lifted an eyebrow. "Well, you don't have to. I'd just like the support." He said a little defensively. Armin shook his head, trying to calm down but his heart wasn't in it and his mind was teaming up with his feelings this time. The blond continued walking, not really expecting Eren to follow after him, grabbing his shoulder roughly. "Hey, Armin..!" He hissed. "Dude, what the hell-"

"Eren, I won't be there." Armin told him, in the strongest voice he could muster at the time. He was proud of himself. He turned and looked at Eren, who looked deeply surprised, taking his hand off of his friend. He quirked the sides of his mouth up and sighed, shaking his head softly. "...Then don't. I didn't know you'd get upset."

In that moment, Armin saw the pain in Eren's eyes as he pushed past him roughly and started to his locker without the blond. The smaller couldn't even get his voice to work as he tried to tell him to wait. Armin groaned loudly when Eren turned the corner and punched the wall, instantly regretting it as the shock wave shot up his arm and tingled his nerves everywhere. He felt tears well up in his eyes and he tried to stop them but couldn't as the reality of the class bell rang. Leaning against the wall, Armin slid down it and buried his head in his arms and breathed for a little while.

This day couldn't get worse.


	4. Pt 1-Ch 3: Loser in Love

Part 1 – Chapter 3: Loser in Love

It had only been a few days since Armin blew off Eren because of his stupid crush, because he couldn't get passed the fact that this infatuation was pointless; because he was too blinded by his own hopes and dreams that he forgot about his best friend's in the process. He'd always known that Eren was a guy with needs and his needs weren't for the male population - truth be told, Armin knew too many things about Eren when it came to girls that made him sick, not because his crush openly and proudly, somewhat crudely, confided in him, but because Armin couldn't think of anyone like that, except Eren. If Armin thought about it, he knew that Eren wanting to ask the girl out was not out of context. He had mentioned it and what Eren wanted, he went for it and almost always got it. He just wished sometimes that he was what Eren saw when he thought of the way he thought about girls.

It was really weird not talking to Eren about things. Sure, when they had fought it was a Thursday and now it was Sunday night, but they never went a weekend being mad at each other. Maybe Eren had already spent the whole weekend with the girl he asked out. Maybe they already kissed. And maybe Armin knew that Eren wasn't the type of guy to jump in so fast, no matter his teenage hormones or need to flatter. Armin smiled remembering how Carla Yeager would pull on Eren's ear whenever he made a crude comment about a woman. She would always punish him in German and Armin knew she was shaping him into a respectful boy. He saw it everyday in his friend.

The sun shone through his window, past the late fall rain clouds and thick trees of the woods behind the house. He started listening for the first time since he awoke that morning, realising that it was just him today. His grandfather normally went somewhere during the morning but it was at least eleven, judging by how high the sun was. Sitting up, his duvet falling at his waist, he stretched forward and hummed at the feeling. It was beautiful out and maybe he could go walking. Or he could just stay inside and mope.

It was when he got up and padded his warm feet on the cold lacquered wood, he heard a car drive up his driveway smoothly. He looked out and felt his heart skip a beat as he watched Eren get out with Mikasa; she must have been back from college for a while, but she looked upset and Eren looked like he was forced here. Quickly pushing back his anxious feelings for seeing his friend, he started putting on his blue robe over his night shirt and boxers, running down the creaky stairs and beat them to the door. The blond opened it before they could knock and he looked right at them, smiling. Mikasa just rose an eyebrow and laughed. "Nice robe, Armin." she said before hugging him.

Armin smiled, surprised to see his friend, squeezing her tightly. "Hey! How are you, Mikasa?" he asked, ignoring how Eren stood on the porch, waiting. However, Mikasa shrugged and Armin turned his attention to her. "I'm good. Carla was exited to see me." She said looking back before frowning and pulling on Eren's shirt. "We came here for you, you brat, so say_ hi._" She roared and that set both of the boys back. Eren must have said something about Thursday that tipped off Mikasa – whenever the boys fought, she was always the referee. The brunette huffed and pushed away from his sister, standing in the doorway. He looked at his feet and flushed embarrassed. Armin and Mikasa both knew he didn't like being yelled at or called out but it put him in his place.

Armin blushed as the other boy didn't look at him and he sighed, closing his eyes. "I'm sorry, Eren. I shouldn't have gotten upset." he said softly, not expecting Eren to come forward and hug him too. Sighing again, Armin clutched Eren's tan jacket and listened as Eren apologised.

"I shouldn't have thought you would like to come with." He said softly. "She...said no anyway. She was there because of one of the other guys." he laughed sadly and Armin nodded. "Hey, I'm sorry."

Armin shook his head and smiled. "Don't be. I was out of line. I don't know why I...got so angry." He lied through his teeth but Eren was kind of too dense to realise that he had. Armin invited them in and made some lunch for them, chatting with Mikasa and letting Eren pick out the movie they would be forced to watch. Mikasa sat down close to Armin and gave him a look and Armin just looked down at his knees. "Don't look at me like that, Mika." He said after Eren ran to the bathroom after crudely excusing himself.

The brunette just leaned back, her hair falling around her face. "Armin, you haven't told him."

"Don't psychoanalyze me, Mikasa. There isn't anything to tell." He huffed, rubbing his temples. She pressed on.

"I can tell it's causing problems." She stated.

"It is not." Armin weakly argued.

"Armin, Eren said you snapped at him and tried punching a wall." She said softly. "Don't tell me there isn't a problem between you. He said you've been acting weird this year." Mikasa always meant well but she could also be so overbearing and overprotective. Armin gave her a look and shook his head. "I'm fine." He said, his jaw clenched. "Mikasa, I'm happy to see you, but...I don't really want to talk about this right now. Especially not when Eren could possibly hear."

"He is going to find out sometime, Armin." Mikasa whispered, acknowledging that Armin was right. "You have to tell him, and you know that." She said, her eyes honest and worried. She hadn't seen her friend in over a few months and the last time he saw him, he wasn't this skittish and shy around her brother. "I hope you'll call me if you do ever do anything or need to talk. I love you too, you know, Armin." She smiled and leaned on him. "You and Eren are the only brothers I have. Don't be stupid."

At that moment, Eren waltzed out and jumped over the couch between them and grabbed the remote. "Guys, I know that I am pretty awesome, but anything you say about me can and will be used in the court of law." He smirked and pressed play. Armin just laughed and punched his arm. Mikasa just rolled her eyes and asked how he knew they were talking about him. Eren stated that it was what everyone talked about because he was a god. At that, his friends pushed him off the couch and used him as a foot rest.

Armin laughed and felt lighter now that the weekend was over and things were okay with them.

October passed with nothing really eventful. On Halloween, Eren went out with Jean and the others on the football team as Vampires. When Eren asked if Armin could go with, Jean laughed and said he could be the girl they were all after. This made Armin just stay home and do homework. It was November first and Eren ran up to Armin after school and lifted him off the ground making the other one wince in pain. "I am going to give you the best birthday present ever, Armin!" He yelled and twirled his friend before dropping him in a leaf pile made by the school's grounds keeper. The blond almost got whiplash from being surprised so suddenly.

He groaned and picked the leaves out of his hair, glowering at his friend. "Seriously, do you have to surprise me like this?" He asked, standing and brushing off his pants. Eren laughed and pushed his friend back down. "You know it, kid." He laughed but pulled Armin back out. ''But I don't know what to get for you." The brunette confessed, rubbing the back of his neck.

Just get me you, Armin thought.

The blond smiled and shrugged as they walked to Eren's car. "I don't know. Just get me a cake or something?" He suggested but Eren scoffed. "It's your eighteenth birthday and all you can think of is cake? You're such a dork." he joked and they got in, buckling up. "What about that movie you wanted?" He asked and Armin rose an eyebrow.

"...You know, the one about that guy who slays zombies in space?" Eren tried to remind him, but Armin rose both eyebrows. "...You mean the one that you want?" the blond asked and Eren nodded. ''Yeah. Maybe if I can't give you a gift, you should get me something! As a, 'hey I am alive and I will reward you Eren Yeager with this movie because I am a nerd'." He giggled as Armin hit him playfully.

"Wait. I know what you can get me." Armin smiled as they started driving, Eren honking at one of his football friends. The brunette then turned to Armin and smiled. "Yeah?" He asked excitedly, almost like a puppy.

"Yes. You can get a life." Armin wrinkled his nose and crossed his arms. At this, Eren feigned hurt, a hand on his chest as he pouted. "Armin, you kill me." He whimpered. The blond just poked his cheek and they drove the rest of the way just listening to the radio.

In a way, Armin wanted to tell Eren on his birthday, but whenever he thought about it, his heart flooded with emotion. He wanted this so badly, to be truthful with his best friend. He sighed, his heart pounding. He'd get the courage some day. He just didn't know how or when.

When they arrived to Armin's house, Eren said his goodbyes and drove back where he came to go to home. As Armin watched the car go out of view, he looked at his feet, then looked back to where Eren was. He nodded and bit his lip.

He would tell him Friday.

He had to. There was no questioning it.

He loved Eren Yeager and he was damned if he was going to keep it to himself.

November third came faster than Armin expected.

He entered school and was surrounded by the excited hum of his fellow students talking about the big football game, girls talking about their dresses, boys getting roughing up about playing their rivals. Armin was the only one who walked without talking to his locker, his heart pounding.

He'd spent two days thinking about how he'd tell him and agreed on a plan, but wanted to chicken out so badly. What if Eren hated him? But what if he didn't? Nothing would be the same though, and even if they did go out (that made Armin furiously blush at even the slightest thought), what if they broke up? He'd have no one to turn to.

Armin just shook his head and placed his forehead on the cool metal of his locker after everyone scurried for the bell. He took in deep, slow breaths and smiled softly. He could do this. He had no choice.

It was now, just the idea of when.


	5. Pt 1-Ch 4: Fall for You

Part 1 – Chapter 4: Fall for You

The clock ticked and with every sound it made, Armin's heart beat matched it. It was slow and painful, feeling more and more anxious for the end of the day. Throughout lunch, Armin didn't touch his food, afraid he'd puke, already feeling really queasy just thinking about the mission he'd given himself. He only stayed focused in Human Bio because of Dr. Zoe.

Armin scanned his eyes over to the clock and bit his lip as it almost struck three pm. He took in a deep breath once the bell rang, grabbing his things slowly.

Only two more hours to go.

He'd pictured this scenario in his head a million times since the day he realised his feelings. Maybe it would be beautiful, like in one of the movies his mom used to watch? Where the boy would always chase after the girl after the confession and kiss her passionately. He wanted nothing more than to feel Eren become a part of him if they kissed. He knew he'd melt into his best friend, either out of feelings of true love, or just being a horny stinking teenager. He barely ever thought of bad situations, on the contrary. The only time he did was when he was about to tell Eren and you couldn't count on one hand how many times he attempted already.

The idea of how to tell Eren came to Armin when he walked around and watched Jean and his friend Marco walking around, helmet in Jean's hand. Armin thought about Eren walking from the locker rooms to the field last, the bright lights glowing around him. For some reason it made Armin smile. But he also didn't want to jinx Eren if he told him then. But maybe it would make him angry and he'd be at his best? Armin didn't know which one he wanted. He knew this was how he'd tell Eren. He knew this had to be the moment, though. Kind of like one of those cheesy sport romance films. He'd stop Eren and he would only be in his padding, helmet in one hand and jersey slung over his neck. He's smell of sweat but Armin wouldn't care if he looked into those sparkling eyes.

He knew something good would come of this, however. It would. Armin just had to be optimistic – even if a lot was riding on optimism currently.

He was headed to the library in the south building when the football team came running past him. Armin stopped and waved as all of them greeted him. He wished them good luck and smiled as Eren walked up to him behind everyone. The blond looked at him, surprised. "Why aren't you running?" he asked. Eren just laughed and said simply, " I'm a lap ahead." At this, Armin laughed.

The grounds were quiet except for the faint whistle of coach Smith's whistle blowing and it felt surreal with just them there. "Are you coming to the dance after the game?" Eren asked as they started walking and Armin shrugged. "Why, are you asking me?" He joked for Eren's sake and the taller just laughed. "Oh yeah. Definitely." He joked sarcastically. "I was just wondering since I didn't know how you were getting home."

At this, Armin stopped. "So, you're going?" He asked, not realising how fast Eren was at walking. Damn his legs for being so short. Eren looked back and laughed. "Yeah! I figure we should party when we win!" He yelled, his breath fogging. He started jogging and began doing so backwards. "I'll meet you at the gate in ten! We need to go get our tuxes!" He yelled to him and began catching up to his teammates.

Armin smiled and headed toward the gates. Maybe tonight wouldn't be so bad.

* * *

When Eren met up with him, they left, racing toward Armin's house to grab his nicest dress clothes that were handed down to him by his Grandfather. He changed into them and grabbed a jacket since it would be chilly. He came out and the car smelled like sweat from Eren's side. He wrinkled his nose and rolled down a window as they cruised along.

Armin stole glances at Eren, flushing when the other smiled at him. "What's up, man? Cat got your tongue?" He asked, a few blocks from the school. Armin shook his head and looked at his filthy nails. He probably should clean them. "No." he said softly, looking out the window. "I'm just...thinking too much." he laughed half heartedly. Eren just nodded and he pulled up to the school parking lot. He put the car in park and fell back into his seat, tossing his head back on the head rest. "...Armin, I'm really nervous." he whispered.

At this, Armin looked at his best friend and laughed. "About what?" He asked softly, leaning against his seat. "...You can't mean the game, right?" He asked and Eren sighed and rubbed his eyes, startling his the blond. "Yes, the game." He groaned and leaned forward on the steering wheel. "Coach has pushed us so much and this is his last year and...we all agreed that we wouldn't disappoint him. And I don't think we will but, have you seen the guys we're going against? They're huge mothers and I just..." He huffed and rubbed his forehead. Armin smiled and patted his friend's shoulder.

"Hey, you listen to me, Eren Yeager. You are going to go and kick some major ass tonight. And I can't wait to see it." he said softly, smiling as Eren looked at him and smiled. He nodded slowly. "Thank you, Armin." he said softly, pinching his cheek and then shouting, rocking the car a little before breaking out and running toward the locker rooms. Armin just shook his head.

But then it hit him. He still hadn't told him.

Armin's feelings came back again like a slap in the face, slowly getting out of the car. He watched where Eren ran and chased after him. He tried to look past the crowd that had started clotting the entryway but he lost sight of him. Armin looked down and thought that maybe it was the universe trying to tell him something. He couldn't tell, however, and therefore didn't care. His little body shoved through fans from the other school and his own classmates to get to where Eren was.

Somehow, the blond was able to sneak close to where the team was and he heard the speech that Coach Smith was giving the boys, listening to them cheer and yell. Armin hid as all of them ran out, their padding tight around their shoulders and knees. Eren walked out, putting on his jersey, the announcers calling out the boys as they were entering the field. Armin heard him sigh, watching him take a swig of his Gatorade as he continued to the exit. It took everything for Armin to call out to him.

"Eren...Hey, wait!" He called, briskly walking to him. His best friend turned around and his heart stopped. This was it.

"Armin, what are you doing here?" He asked. "You shouldn't be-"

"Eren, just...shut up and listen." He told him, looking into his eyes. His hands shook, wanting to grab something and grip it tight so he didn't feel like he was helplessly stuck on the ground when he felt like floating. He noticed that Eren was taken aback at his friend's aggressive tone. "Armin, I have to get out there." He said, starting to turn.

Armin gasped and took his hand, squeezing it. "Eren, wait...T-There's something I...can't wait to tell you." He flushed and looked down at their feet. At this, Eren let go of Armin's hand. "I'm sorry, bro, it's...going to have to-

"It can't because then I'll never say it! Eren, I..." He began but felt his throat close. They stood there and both were brought to attention when Eren's name and number was called out over the speakers. Sighing, the brunette put on his helmet and shook his head. "I gotta go, Armin.' He told him, turning and running out to the field, waving as the crowd yelled, half of them negatively.

Past the excitement, Armin didn't move, tears pooling around his eyes.

"...I love you." He whispered and watched Eren huddle with his team as the away team came running through the field. Armin couldn't stop his heart from breaking.

He blew it. He fucking blew it.

* * *

It wasn't a contest when it came to the victors of the Homecoming game. The Titans were victorious, the whole school breaking into a pandemonium. Even though they had one, the boys fought hard and Jean pushed Eren into the inner circle, their team mates lifting him up. Armin smiled sadly in the crowd, waiting in the bleachers, shivering in the cold air – or maybe it was from his nerves getting the best of him.

He followed some of the others into the gymnasium, waiting against a wall until he saw Eren. He knew he would be there but he knew that Coach Smith would bring them in, riling everyone up and would brag about how well they did. In a way, he hoped it would be low key so no one would surround Eren more than the usual "congratulations" and "you slayed, man!". Armin didn't know how he got the second wind to tell his best friend his feelings, but now he was angry that he took so long. This time it wouldn't be such a problem. He's just out and say it, he'd-

"Hey, Armin!" A voice yelled through the crowd past all the applause. He saw Eren pushing through everyone to get to him in his little corner. He smiled as Eren got over to him and pushed him from behind. "Come on, let's go to the car." He laughed. Armin looked at him. "W-What? Why?" he asked. Eren was being really odd. "Eren...! Where are we going?" He asked. Once outside of the school, Armin noticed that Eren was in his dress pants, shirt and black tux coat, complete with black bowtie. He looked really smooth with his messy, just showered hair. Armin felt his heart fall.

"We, dear Armin, are going to a real party." He smiled, continuing to drag him out. Armin just watched him and smiled. He was so happy at this moment.

They drove into the nicer part of town and Armin looked outside. "Eren, seriously. What are we doing? We don't know anyone who lives here." He said. Eren looked to him and shrugged. "I do. Jean is throwing a party. His parents are in Germany for a business trip. He got his older brother to get kegs and the guys are coming back to have our own little fun." He laughed and pulled up to the driveway, some of the guys already getting rowdy. Armin could hear music blaring from the house already and they walked up to the door, Eren entering without a care.

When everyone saw him, they yelled louder than he'd ever heard before, even in their pep rallies. Armin shrunk and covered his ears when Eren screamed back and went to the middle of the room where he stood on a table and Jean turned down the music. Everyone chanted "Speech, speech" soft at first and then loud and fast before Eren laughed and raised his hands to calm them down. Armin watched and flushed, watching Eren look around himself. Seriously, there were at least fifty people already there, others coming in too behind Armin. The room fell silent and with a red plastic cup filled with coke and rum, he raised it and looked around the crowded living room.

When everyone was hushed, Eren took a breath and in a voice that almost made him sound like a god, said, "Boys, tonight was not a regular night." He began and locked his eyes with Armin's as if he were what was giving him the energy to talk. "No, tonight was...something holy. Tonight was something that gave us the thrill of our lives, finally beating our rivals. We kicked their asses, sent them home to mommy." He sneered at this to everyone making some of the guys whoop and holler a little before Eren smirked, raising his voice. "We fucking killed tonight, boys, and we, can't, be stopped! We won't be! May this year be the bang we've been wanting, that spark to the flame that we will remember for the rest of our natural lives!"

With that, Armin couldn't hear anything but screaming. He covered his ears and watched as Eren chugged the liquid in his cup and jumped down from where he stood. Jean turned the music back up and one of the other guys -Reiner, Armin thought his name was- turned down the lights. Eren high fived and fist bumped everyone who was in his path to his best friend. He laughed and Armin smiled, punching his shoulder. "That was some speech, Eren." He told him, finally congratulating him on the big win. Eren just smiled and pulled him into the crowd so they could have fun.

"Thanks. I try." he smirked, dancing and grabbing another red cup. He drank from it like he was the thirstiest man in the world and Armin just laughed, feeling the adrenaline of everyone else's excitement pumping through his veins.

After an hour or so, it was if a wave of alcohol ran through their bodies, making them crash. Eren was participating in twister and started taking colorful shots in little plastic cups that Jean's brother probably got at a novelty store. Armin only had one full cup and was pretty tipsy, the room spinning at times, making him stumble. It wasn't just once that Eren had held him up and it wasn't just once that Armin felt the other's hands stay at his waist, almost as if they were trying to keep him there half heartedly. Armin shook off the feeling as just a buzz from the alcohol but it definitely became undeniable when a kid named Connie came up and switched the music genre because his girlfriend was kind of complaining through the alcohol.

Some of the guys whined, but Armin laughed as all the guys with their girls pressed close and they started swaying to and fro with the beat. Armin smiled fondly and was about to go to sit on a couch when he ran into Eren. The blond caught his balance and felt the taller press his hand on the small of Armin's back, making the shorter blush. Eren pressed their foreheads together and smiled. "...Hey can...we go somewhere?" he slurred and Armin wrinkled his nose in disgust at how Eren's breath smelled.

He flushed, though. This was what he always wanted, but it felt wrong. It was probably just the party talking but Eren pressed closer against Armin and he felt a spark run up his spine from his toes. Armin felt his mouth go dry. He tried to form words but Eren just grabbed his hands suddenly and led him through a hallway and up a flight of stairs. It only took a moment for Eren to find a door, any door and open it. He locked it and went back to holding Armin how he had down stairs.

"...You take so long to answer, Armin. Wha...whats with that?" He giggled and he pressed his forehead against Armin's. The blond felt something wash over him as he looked into Eren's eyes, making his heart skip a beat. Their faces were so close that breath mingled and through the off balance part of Eren's drunken haze, their noses would gently bump.

Armin licked his lips and sighed. "...Eren, I...have to finish saying what...I had to say." he laughed and Eren smiled, closing his eyes.

"You can tell me anything. You're...my best fr-friend." Eren slurred and waited. Armin took in a deep breath and cupped his cheeks. Here he went.

"Eren, I...love you. More than I've...ever loved anyone." he whispered, feeling his face flush as Eren stared into Armin's eyes, hands falling at his waist. He waited for a response, hoping that this would be the moment that he had always wished for, to be swept away, but Eren just nodded, smiling. "Armin, you look...like a girl." he giggled and pulled him close. "...Do you kiss like one?"

Armin pursed his lips and shrugged. He didn't think anything of it when Eren placed a hand on the back of his neck, the hand on his waist pulling him closer before he practically smashed their faces together in what Armin figured was a kiss.

Oh god, Eren was kissing him. Eren was kissing him and it was the most wonderful thing Armin had ever felt but he suddenly started to get uncomfortable as Eren's hands grabbed him roughly but just weak enough for the blond to push away. Though his face was flushed, he was embarrassed and slightly turned on. However, he knew that this wasn't Eren. It was the drunk boy who just won his football team their last Homecoming game. The blond watched as Eren gave him a look and smiled, wiping his mouth. "You taste like beer.' he giggled and tried to get Armin onto the bed but instead, Armin stepped aside and the taller fell on the freshly made bed.

Armin couldn't believe this. He pushed his hair back and he started to feel angry. "Eren, knock it off." He demanded and grabbed Eren's shoulders when the other sat up. "Focus. Di...Did you hear what I said? Just now?" Armin hiccuped and frowned as Eren shook his head. "Something about...never leaving...somewhere." He snorted and through the other's giddiness, the shorter felt like slapping him across the face.

So he did.

Eren's head snapped to the side and he grimaced, gently touching the offended skin. Fiery green eyes looked up into cold cobalt ones and Armin began getting pissed. "Eren Yeager, you are the single most pigheaded, arrogant, self centered son of a bitch I have ever met! You bring me here to get smashed on my birthday and proceed to assault me and not listen to a damn word I have been dying to say for two fucking years. All you can do is laugh and tease me." He hissed, pushing his friend down again. "I hate this!" He yelled, finally, tears brimming in his eyes. He noticed that Eren stared at him, expressionless.

Armin panted as the tears streamed down his cheeks. "You've become this...celebrity and even though you've tried to pull me up on that pedestal everyone has you perched on, it doesn't work, and you just shrug and bask in the glory yourself, as if I didn't try hard enough to be up there with you. You've blew me off more times in the past year than I'd like to admit because I fucking love you, and you don't have the balls to be a man and face me sober." He was sobbing now, his head beginning to hurt. He couldn't bare to be in the same room as his best friend and he proceeded down the stairs and out the door.

He only got a few blocks before he realised that he'd left his coat and didn't have a ride home, making him sob harder. Why was Eren so difficult? Why did he let his best friend get to him? What if Eren didn't even hear him with how much he drank. He probably wouldn't remember. Armin pulled out his cell phone and called Mikasa. He was blessed she only lived in the next town over, begging for her to get him home.

Those two years of anxiety had ended that night.

Years of agony were soon to follow.


	6. Pt 1-CH 5: Make it Okay

Part 1 – Chapter 5: Who is Going to Make it Okay?

When Mikasa picked him up, Armin couldn't breathe, he couldn't see through his tears, and he was unable to stop the constant ache in his left chest as it literally felt like his heart was breaking. It was all over. And why? Because Armin couldn't stand Eren not listening to him for even a moment? Was he jealous? Was he wrong about Eren this whole time? No, it wasn't any of those things. Maybe it was because he could never face him again after confessing everything on a whim – a stupid fucking whim that has now left him without a best friend at his side and probably the worst pain he'd ever felt since his parents died.

That night, Mikasa held Armin and listened to him cry. She felt so badly that her best friend was so upset over something that her idiot brother did. Eren didn't deserve Armin. She knew that and it sucked that Armin didn't understand. "I still love him," he'd choke and start sobbing all over again, making her shoulder completely wet. The girl didn't give two shits about it though; all that mattered was how hurt Armin was. She was seriously going to kick Eren's ass.

"Armin, I am so sorry." She'd just whisper, snuggling him closer as they laid on his bed. What could she do, really? The blond calmed down after a great while when they'd made it to his home on the outskirts of town. Wiping his wet eyes and sighing miserably as he couldn't sniff his nose so clogged with snot, he looked at his alarm clock. It was two A.M. and he had no idea when they'd gotten back, still buzzed from the alcohol he drank at Jean's party. He looked at Mikasa, his eyes a dark red, his hands still shaking. She was quiet for a while and Armin just shook his head, trying not to cry again. There weren't any tears left anyway if he did begin to cry.

"I am a fool." He choked out, running his hands through his hair for the millionth time that night – honestly, he'd never even done it once before a few hours ago. Armin sniffled again and groaned, standing and looking around for some facial tissue to blow into. He just wanted some of the congestion to go away so his head didn't explode. He looked at Mikasa when he did find some tissues and gave her a look. "Right? He thinks I am an idiot, probably. He's probably getting even more drunk and Connie and Sasha are probably making him sing and he doesn't even know I'm gone-" He whispered, his voice hurt. Armin didn't realise how loud he was probably being and he didn't want to wake his Grandfather.

Mikasa just sighed at the blond and made Armin sit back down on the bed. "Listen to me. You will stay right here. You will not move. Do not call anyone or text. Just read, and I will be right back with a tub of Neapolitan ice cream and we can sit and eat it until you feel better, okay?" She gave him a small smile and kissed his forehead before turning and leaving. Armin groaned as she spun around and glowered at him. "I mean it, Arlert."

The blond nodded after a while and laid down, snuggling into his blanket and pillows. He didn't want to close his eyes because all he saw was Eren's smiling face, heard his voice, felt his lips fumbling over his in a moment of faux passion. However, Armin did just that as his eyes began to burn staring at the wood grain on his wall that looked like a half moon. He couldn't stop feeling Eren's rough hands on him, trying to push him down. He was blessed that he got out so fast but it was a curse how he made his exit. If Eren had been sober enough to process everything, he was doomed. He didn't even want to think about how this would change them.

Armin rolled over and turned off the light in his room, sighing through his nose. He was sure he never wanted to see Eren ever again and he was positive that Eren would never want to see him again after this.

So this was it. An end to an era. The boys were no more and maybe that was for the best. Armin could never been who Eren would have wanted in the first place. He wasn't some cute girl like Christa who would gently stand at his side and bat her lashes when he said something sweet or crazy in front of his friends. No. Armin was a guy who had a laugh that sounded like a seal when you really got him going and when he wasn't reading, he was studying. He was boring and Eren was exciting.

Armin was paper, crisp and uniform and Eren was like fire, hectic and uncontrollable.

Put together was a bad combination. It just sucked how it took him this long to realise.

Armin didn't even realise he'd fallen asleep until Mikasa shook him the next morning, orange juice and toast at his bedside table. It looked white in his room and as he opened his groggy eyes, he realised it was snowing outside. He looked at Mikasa and his face scrunched up in pain as he remembered his past twelve hours, clinging to her in his night shirt.

"...M...Mika-" he whispered but she shook her head, rubbing her hand on his back. This made him bury his face in her neck and he sniffled softly. "...I'm glad you're here..." Armin pulled away and wiped his eyes. "B-But you'd...better go back home. I-I don't want to keep you."

Mikasa smiled softly and shook her head. "No. I don't need to go anywhere. You need me today. Besides..." she said standing and going to Armin's desk, picking up a gift bag that the blond didn't even notice was there. He looked at her, his eyes wide, but he kept his lips pursed together. She sat next to him and thrust the gift to his arms. "Happy birthday."

Armin looked at the obnoxious blue bag with ribbon and white handle strings, smiling softly. With unsteady hands, he opened the bag and reached inside. He smiled when he saw the most beautiful cover of The Wizard of Oz he'd ever seen. "..Mikasa, this is...first edition..." Armin noted, turning it to the other side. "How-"

"It was my mother's." She smiled and sat close to him, crossing her legs and leaning against the wall by his bed. "She told me that whenever I have children, I should read this to them. But you know I've never been interested in The Wizard of Oz or children." They both laughed at that. "And I know that this is your favourite." Armin hugged Mikasa tightly again. "...Thank you so much." He whispered, looking at the gold lettering on the black cover, glancing down at the winding yellow brick emblem. He leaned against his headboard and opened it, the pages making the satisfied sound of the book being handed down for years, since the very first time in a child's hands right after it's publication date. Armin was always in love with any fairy tale and when he was first read this in first grade, he did fall in love with Dorothy, with Toto and the other wonderful characters. They made him feel that much less alone. He'd only told Mikasa this because Eren would have made fun of him for it.

"...Mikasa, this is the best present. Thank you..." He smiled and tucked it away on his bed. He couldn't wait to start reading it. Armin was reaching for his juice when he felt Mikasa's phone vibrate by his foot. She took it and made a face.

"...It's Eren. Do you mind if I answer?" She asked. Armin felt like his blood stopped pumping for a second and suddenly he couldn't finish his drink. He shook his head and shrugged. "Go ahead." He said softly. He watched as she left the room to take the call. Armin looked into his orange juice and felt really shitty all over again. He hoped that he at least was embarrassed of himself for getting so smashed.

It felt like forever before Mikasa came back in and sighed. Armin immediately looked up, wanting to ask how he was or what he was doing – what he'd been thinking. Mikasa just shrugged and sat back down with him. "He's home...and grounded until the end of the century. Clara and Grisha are really pissed." She informed the blond and Armin just nodded. "...Serves him right." He commented and stood. Mikasa looked up and shrugged. "He did deserve it. I wish I knew anything about what happened last night. He didn't mention you."

Armin made no sound or made a single move. Typical, he thought. "...I wish I could face him." He said after sitting back down on the bed. His body was at a loss to what to do. He was so anxious and nervous at the same time. He wanted to run, to collapse because he can't catch his breath, like his lungs are ripping from themselves in two. He wanted to sit and mope around.

Mostly, Armin wanted Eren to apologise and tell him he loved him back. That only happened in movies.

Mikasa hugged him after a while and Armin closed his red eyes tightly. "...Am I pathetic?" He muttered inquisitively to his friend and to this he felt her shake her head.

"Why would you be?" She asked and he shrugged lamely.

"Because I couldn't tell him sober. Because he didn't listen to me...that if he had any feelings for me, he had to be buzzed to show them too?" Armin sighed and looked at Mikasa. "...You'd better go. Grandfather will be awake soon and I'd better get to chores and homework."

"Armin, I don't want to leave you if you aren't going to be okay." The girl told him, squeezing his shoulder tightly. To this, the blond shook his head and gave her a weak smile. "No, you go." He whispered, standing. "Thank you for staying with me and for my amazing present." He told her, his voice sincere. Mikasa didn't question him as she gave him a tight hug and left with a small smile as she closed the door.

* * *

Armin sat there until he heard her car start, glancing out his window as he watched her drive away. He sighed softly, barely a breath, and began to get dressed so he could do as he said he was doing to do.

The day passed quietly with Armin doing the dishes from last night's supper, taking out the trash and cleaning the bathroom before he took a nap and spent the whole day under the covers. He'd gotten five messages from Eren asking where he was and why he wasn't answering. Every buzz made Armin's heart stop, dreading seeing his name. He closed his phone and eventually shut it off. He looked at the book Mikasa gave him and he took it and opened it, starting to read it. He wasn't expecting a tapping on his window as he jolted out of bed and yelped, his heart racing as he looked outside.

It was Eren.

He continued to toss little rocks from the driveway to his window, whistling. Armin glared and he closed his curtains to try and prove a point but the tapping continued and it irked the blond to no end. He turned in a flash and threw the window open. His heart pounded as he heard Eren's laugh.

"Hey! Finally, dude." Eren said, walking closer to the window and peering almost straight up, his hands in his pockets from the cold. The snow continued to fall and Eren had to block his eyes after a while so he didn't have to keep blinking from the sting of the offending water. "Man, what's up?"

Armin grit his teeth and gripped the window sill. "Mikasa told me you were grounded." He asked in a snappish tone. Eren just gave him a look. "You know me," he began and grabbed the ladder off the side of the house. "I can't stay couped up."

As Eren grabbed the ladder, Armin hissed at him and warned him not to come up. "Eren, honestly just...leave..! Please, go home-"

"Why, Armin? You're acting really strange-" Eren tried, the metal slamming against the wood of the house and Armin tried to reach for it to push the object over. "I don't want to talk about it, Eren. Go. Home." He warned, grunting as he was reaching. Eren just looked at him in disbelief and started climbing up. Armin's face flushed in anger and he leaned on the sill. "You mean to tell me that you...Nevermind, get going home." He huffed and started going inside but Eren grabbed his sleeve before he did go back into the bedroom. Armin froze.

"Armin, what are you talking about?" He asked and let go of the other after a while. "I don't remember anything from last night. I woke up in a bed and Jean was in his underwear. Oh man, he wears tighty whities-"

"Eren..." Armin breathed dangerously and the brunette was quiet. He heard a scoff come from his friend and it vibrated in his rib cage through his eardrums. It felt like a shot that went into his back but made no exit wound, lodged somewhere inside and he could still feel it vibrating from the barrel. Armin closed his blue eyes and let his hand fall to his side, trying not to tear up. "...Eren, I..."

Was he going to do this? He wanted nothing more than to tell him how he felt, sober. No hiding behind a school bell as an excuse, no alcohol to fog their judgment. Yes, he had to do this. He turned and went back to the window.

Armin looked at Eren dead in the eyes as he felt like he walked for miles just to get to him, cupping his cheeks. He didn't breathe as he said the words he'd wanted to say, like lead rolling off his tongue, finally free. He blushed and whispered "I love you," before kissing his lips. He began closing his eyes slowly. The blond fell in front of his space heater and pressed against it noticing that Eren sat still. It was soft as Armin pulled away and he felt the heavy silence fall between them.

The look on Eren's face said it all. He had his eyes wider than normal, face flushed, his jaw clenched. His breathing was slow and he wasn't looking at Armin. Slowly, he began to climb down the ladder and Armin felt like crying. He stood fast and began to run down stairs, forgetting his shoes as he stepped into the cold snow dust. He looked around for a split second trying to see where Eren might have gone, but he was just heading to his car. Without thinking, Armin choked out a sob and briskly walked toward him. He grabbed Eren's wrist and to his surprise, the brunette let him hold it.

"E-Eren...I..I'm sorry." He began but Eren just glanced over his shoulder, his eyes cold. "...You're sorry?" He asked, voice level and quiet. The blond was forced off of Eren's wrist as he pulled forward violently, causing the blond to gasp and stumble slightly. He looked at his own small hands when Eren turned and stood with his chest out. It was his reaction when he got pissed off. Armin felt his heart sink before his friend began running his mouth.

"You're sorry? How do you...How do I...recover from that? Dude, you...you're _Armin... _my best friend! And a guy-" He hissed the last word before Armin clenched his eyes shut as he shook his head. He felt the snow dust the crown of his head as he bowed his head lower with every remark. He was shocked when a hand flew to his shirt collar and was pulled closer, almost lifted from the freezing white grass "- a guy, Armin. You are a guy like me and we can't...you can't- ugh!" He groaned, his voice raising as he practically pushed Armin away from him, the tears falling freely now.

"E...ren...Listen to me," he begged, his voice barely there. His heart was breaking all over again and his tear glands were fixed from last night it seemed as now his eyes couldn't stop producing the embarrassing liquid leaking from his face and soon his nose. He took a step closer and almost gasped as Eren took a step back. "Eren, stop...I haven't changed-"

"You have, though. Now I know why you were so odd when I asked...if you'd come with me- Jesus, I've been so blind!" Eren growled and he clenched his own eyes shut. 'What about my best friend?" He asked, raising his voice. "What about the Armin Arlert that I know?" He asked, pushing the other. Apparently it felt good to the other because he did it again and again until Armin just fell over and gasped as he landed on his side wrong. He looked up to see the brunette who gave the other a pained expression. "...Armin, I...I don't feel this way. You know that." He said, wrinkling his nose almost in disgust. This made Armin wince and Eren noticed it, almost softening his expression for a moment.

Armin choked as he slowly sat up and peered through his bangs at the other, eyelashes dotted with little water droplets. Slowly, he stood and began walking to his house, shoulders wracking with sobs he wouldn't -couldn't- let out until he was inside. He leaned against the pillar on his porch keeping the wood awning up as he heard Eren slush over to him and grab his wrist. Armin pulled away and placed his hand in a fist.

Now he was mad. Just like last night, Eren was messing with him. The blond whipped around, still forgetting he didn't have shoes as he shoved Eren harder than the brunette had pushed him, hitting his chest. He didn't stop the tears now.

"So what?" He yelled, thankful his grandfather wasn't home yet. His voice echoed in the trees surrounding them and Armin didn't dare hold back while they were sober, where he knew god damned well that Eren could hear every fucking word. Eren tried to recuperate from the shove but Armin shoved him again and hissed. "So I'm some faggot? Is that it? Did YOU change so much that you can't even decipher your best friend from someone who was coming onto you?" He yelled but Eren grabbed his wrist and glared.

"I can. Are you able to, _best friend?_" He sneered and pushed him away. Armin had sobbed when Eren grabbed him so suddenly and he nursed his wrist as it throbbed from the pressure and possible tugging of a muscle. "I can tell when someone doesn't see _me_ anymore, but just as an object. Thank you for proving your point, Arlert." Eren Yeager turned on his heal after releasing Armin and headed straight for his car now, unlocking it with his fancy control on his key ring. Armin just looked down and the cold slowly started working into his system as Eren drove away, speeding down the old road back to his house probably.

He blond collapsed on the ground and shook his head, crying loudly, almost hyperventilating because he couldn't breathe. He had thought of Eren as an object, hadn't he? That's why he got so pissed when he wanted to ask that girl out. It was like the teacher was telling a five year old Armin that his toy would be borrowed to the nearest classmate because they'd looked at it once or twice in interest. He didn't want to share and it hurt when he realised that he'd been so selfish.

But had he been selfish, feeling like Eren could possibly even feel the same way? Was it selfish to want to be closer to his best friend and make him happy and celebrate every moment with a kiss and hug, to get to wake up every day seeing Eren's green eyes shining into his blue pair causing heated kisses, laughter, and memories that would last a life time? Armin didn't think so. Apparently, Eren wasn't worth it after all.

It still didn't dull the pain he felt in his breast as his heart literally shattered from being so rudely treated, being yelled at and thrown to the ground. Armin couldn't breathe but it wasn't panic. He felt his breath come out easier as he thought about how angry Eren had been making him and he stormed inside, running to his bedroom. When he slammed the door, he paced the room, trying not to destroy anything. He grabbed his pillow and gripped it tightly.

He was glad Eren was gone. He'd never half to hear about what Jean was doing or what Reiner said or Bertholdt snorted our of his nose during lunch. He wouldn't have to see his fucking smirk when Christa was wearing her cute pink skirt with the black blouse she's always match with it. He'd never get to hear his obnoxiously loud laugh when someone would tell him a stupid joke, like "Why was six afraid of seven" or when Armin would poke his sides or tell him about a line in a movie or book that stood out to him. He'd never see that sparkle in his eyes when he figured out the concept of a math formula or found twenty dollars on the ground.

Or when they talked about remodeling this old cabin into a place that they'd live in during the summer when they could escape from the city to be close to the lake they'd go fishing at with Carla Yeager, where they swam with Mikasa and they'd watch the sun set and bicker about stock markets and politics. "Sophisticated stuff." Eren would say when they would talk about it all. Armin would always nod and tell him that he would have to learn to read and understand what was going on to actually have an intelligent conversation. At this, Eren would always scrunch up his nose and stick out his tongue.

Armin loved him for that.

He was fucking glad he'd never be close to Eren again. He was glad that he'd showed up, that he kissed him, and that Eren hated him for it. He hated his fucking guts and Armin was glad. Eren Yeager was too destructive for him to grow. He would never lay eyes on Eren Yeager again.

Armin finally sat down on his bed, small tears falling down his cheeks but he felt numb. He just shook his head and fell on his bed, not noticing until the next morning that he'd fallen asleep. That night, he dreamed about Eren smiling, his laugh and his eyes. Armin felt even worse about Eren the next day but he'd get used to it.

He'd get used to it.

He had no other choice.


	7. Pt 1-CH 6: It only hurts when I breathe

Part 1 – Chapter 7: It only hurts when I breathe

Armin frequently dreamed about Eren weeks after they'd broken off ties with their friendship.

Armin dreamed that Eren came jogging to him during winter football practice and ask if they'd go out for pizza with the guys after the game – he'd also dreamed that Eren watched him, doing something to upset him and every time the blond would go to punch the brunette, it was like he was hitting him underwater, his arm straining as he couldn't get his arm to go fast enough for an impact and Eren would just walk away. Just like he had in real life. He'd catch glimpses of him in his classes and little spurts of laughter that was unmistakably his. He'd even bumped into him once, making Armin's blood run cold for a split second as his books were knocked out of his hands, but not by force. Eren was never forceful with him after that night.

It was difficult, as he was now alone again, just like before he'd met Eren. It was funny how all of this worked out in the way that he was almost nothing without his best friend. Mikasa made frequent visits and they'd go out and sometimes have some of the wine she brought from her and her roommate's apartment. He mostly went straight to school and came straight home to do his work and straight to bed after he finished. He saw less and less of his grandfather than normal but he didn't think the old man did mind so much. He came home late anyway and went straight to the fridge to grab a beer and go to sleep – his grandson even wondered if he even felt the alcohol any more.

Armin didn't cry anymore, however. He stayed strong and silent. He was more reserved when Sasha would come and sit by him inside the cafeteria and pester him about eating the rest of his baby carrots or his cookie, when Connie would come and compare answers in history, when Bertholdt and Reiner would ask if he wanted to play hockey with them when the lakes had frozen over. He was even quieter around Marco and Jean who always seemed to make him smile somehow. If anything, he loathed seeing the two of them. Eren didn't have a problem with them though they were, practically, in a relationship. But that didn't make him a better person, being jealous of two people who cared for him. They always asked what happened and why he was so upset. Armin didn't tell them.

He didn't even tell Mikasa. He didn't know if Eren even told his sister.

It was better that way, though. He knew that no one else knew, other wise he probably _would_ be alone. Well, he was alone as it was because he didn't dare let anyone else in. He was scared shitless now to even think about it. It wasn't like Eren screwed Armin over but it sucked how Eren thought that Armin had done that when if the brunette was there like he was supposed to be, it would have been easier to tell him. The blond didn't think about it though, since he didn't want to get angry anymore.

December came fast and Armin was now eighteen, so of course that meant the sudden inflow of college fliers in the mail and letters asking him to come to their college and study. He ignored them all and focused on his work solely and by himself. Connie stopped coming by and no one really approached him anymore. It was fine. He'd rather have the time to himself and it's what he did.

When January came, Armin sat himself down and applied for colleges that would give him housing all summer before school would officially start so he could get out of this dead end town, to leave his grandfather, to leave the memory of Eren and treat this place like the plague. He was done. He could make it until graduation and then he would be gone.

Armin Arlert would start anew without Eren Yeager. He could do it. And he looked forward to it.

****Five Months Later****

The school was decked out in pastel color streamers with posters advertising prom for the Seniors and Juniors of the school. The theme was something stupid but Armin knew that everyone was looking forward to it. Marco was in charge of planning this year and all of the girls were really excited because of his ideas. The guys in the school couldn't give a shit, excluding Marco and probably Jean. It was a cute excuse for them to dance together and no one would think twice since school was out in two weeks anyway.

Armin was feeling better, slowly, but he grew more and more anxious for the end of the year so he could leave. He'd already started packing when he got the call that he was able to move in early. He didn't tell his grandfather yet but he figured the man already knew. To his surprise, the man had already tried to talk to him a few times, but Armin wouldn't tell him much, kind of still in a state of shock.

It was the end of the day when Armin left Dr. Hanji Zoe's class to head to his locker and grab his homework when he was bumped into and his papers from his binder went everywhere. He groaned as he was practically knocked into the wall but he heard a gasp. "Armin, oh! I'm...so sorry," Marco had rushed as he knelt down to help him. It took a second for Armin to comprehend what was going on but he flushed and grabbed his own papers. "...H-Hi...it's okay." He said softly, grabbing for his assignment and Marco's fingers brushing his lightly. The blond retracted his hand and put the sheets into his folder. He blushed as Marco handed him the last paper and he pushed his hair behind his ear.

"...Thanks." he whispered, standing. Armin noticed how Marco looked kind of frazzled and the blond stopped him before he could go again. "...Hey...are you okay?" He asked, feeling Marco's disturbing silence. Sometimes you couldn't get the guy to shut up and whenever he would run into Armin, he'd talk and talk until the bell rang, separating them. This felt different and Armin was a little worried, even though he hadn't been the best of friends with him these past few months.

The way Marco's eyes looked made them seem sunken as if he hadn't been sleeping really well for some reason and his clothes looked they weren't pressed after taken from the wash. His hands look like they'd been fiddling with pencils, nails bitten to the nub from stress or worry. All of these things scared Armin a little. "Are you...stressed from prom committee?" He pressed a little more when Marco didn't respond right away. The brunette, shrugged and let his hand fall to his side.

"Y-Yeah...something to do with that." He said softly, looking at his shoes. "H-Hey, can we do something today?" He asked softly and Armin nodded, felling kind of happy that he was being asked to go somewhere. "Sure. Like, go out for a bite?" He asked and Marco nodded. "Yeah, so long as we can get out of here. I'm...anxious." he laughed but there wasn't any humor in his voice. Armin nodded and excused himself to grab his homework. He came back and saw Marco waiting and looking around so Armin caught up with him so they could get out of the school if Marco was that nervous to be out. They got into his bright yellow Volkswagen and sat there for a minute.

Armin watched Marco and waited for them to get going but the brunette sat in the driver's seat like he was at a loss, like his body didn't know what it wanted to do. Armin sighed and set his hand on Marco's shoulder and squeezed. "Hey...I know...I haven't been around but..." The blond sighed, continuing after a moment. "you can always talk to me, Marco." He gave the brunette a smile and when the other turned to see, the smaller could see that Marco's brown eyes were producing tears. The taller blinked and huffed as he wiped his eyes on the back of his – Jean's- letterman jacket sleeve.

"...Thank you, Armin." He said softly. Marco felt Armin take his hand off of his shoulder and he shook his head as he told him what was wrong. "...I...It's Jean. Shocker, huh?" He asked and sniffled softly. Marco's eyes became red and his cheeks flushed, making his freckles stand out a little more. Armin shook his head. He knew they'd been having some problems but it wasn't really his business unless it was made his business. Marco shook his head again and suddenly hit his fist on the steering wheel making it "beep" at the car in front of him. The couple – it looked like Hanna and Franz – were making out and glared when they were startled by the sudden noise.

Marco didn't pay attention to them as he continued. "Je...Jean said he...didn't think w-we -uh, he and I should go...to prom toge..." The brunette didn't finish the last word before he sniffled again and another crocodile tear ran down his cheek. Armin nodded and pulled his friend into a weird side hug, to which Marco fell into and full on hugged him back. "He-He said...that he di-didn't want Coach to see us...but he and I know damn well that Coach couldn't give a shit. He lives with Mr. Rivaille, for god sakes. We know they aren't just platonic." Marco sniffled and held onto Armin tightly. The blond nodded and patted his back awkwardly. Marco was considerably larger in stature that he was and it felt like he was crushing Armin down into the seat and backward to the window. He didn't try to mind since Marco needed him how he was right now.

"Everyone knows Mr. Smith and Mr. Rivaille aren't platonic," Armin tried but it made Marco shoot up and he suddenly yelled, "I know!" letting go of Armin to shake the car a little out of some frustration. Armin noticed that Hanna and Franz had gotten weirded out and started to leave, making the yellow rectangle of a car to be one of the only ones in student parking. "That's just it, Armin." Marco hissed and honked his horn again, this time with actual force, causing the blond to jump. "That's just it and it pisses me off because Jean doesn't want to take me to prom. He'll probably stay home and drink his dad's alcohol with Eren and forget about me-"

"Eren?" Armin asked, trying not to sneer.

"Yes, Eren. They've been so buddy-buddy it makes me sick! Jean hasn't ditched me or anything, but brought him along and honestly since he ended whatever with you, he's been an idiot-" Marco interrupted and rambled on and on but Armin didn't hear him. He was busy hating himself because when Marco said his name, Armin felt his heart thump in his chest as if it wanted free. He thought he'd cleansed himself of those feelings, but instead he saw Eren's face to the name. He felt terrible.

"Uh, Marco...?" He asked and the brunette was quiet for a moment, turning to Armin. The blond huffed and asked him not to talk about Eren. To this, Marco just nodded and continued about Jean ditching him.

"Or..." Marco stopped his thought and became sad again. "W-What if a girl asked him and he...said yes? What if he doesn't like me anymore-?"

"Marco, do you hear yourself?" Armin asked him, taking the brunette's speckled hand and he held it tight. Marco looked at him and squeezed, leaning back in his seat. "Armin-"

"No, you listen to me. No one, in they're right mind, would accept anyone else for prom if you were the runner up. Not Jean. He wouldn't dare."

"...Armin, he said no...he...he's my best friend. I...want to do this and he...doesn't want to. I worked so god damn hard to try and get him interested but...it didn't work..."

Armin sighed and faced his friend. "It just might take some work. He'll go. He will. You've just got to make him see. He is giving up the chance of a lifetime-"

It was then that Armin was cut off suddenly by Marco cupping his cheek and pulling him close – and Armin swore that the brunette's eyes darted from his eyes to his lips, then back again. Armin flushed and he felt Marco's hand shake in his and they let go so he could place a hand on the blond's shoulder. Marco drew in a breath and he smiled slightly, their faces only inches away, centimeters even. What was happening? Armin wondered, but he found out when Marco opened his mouth.

"Will you go to prom with me?" Came the simple words but it felt like fire in Armin's body.

He had no idea what to say.

* * *

**A/N: Hey guys! I'm sorry I haven't been making little notes, I've basically just been copying and pasting it to AO3 and ignoring my lovely fans here! QAQ I am so sorry my lovelies!**

**You all have spoiled me with reviews that I don't deserve but I'm glad that you guys are keeping me inspired so I can finish this. I definitely plan on writing more for this fandom. This first story was a test for you guys and it has passed, I do believe c: if you have any questions for me, you are more than welcome to PM me any time! Thank you guys for all the favourites, follows, reviews and hits! You will get a treat, don't worry.**


	8. PT 1-CH 7:Heaven Help Me

**Part 1 – Chapter 7: Heaven Help Me**

Armin Arlert was a quiet book worm. Studious, amazed with everything he'd ever learned. He was smart and inquisitive and no one could take that away from him. It made him who he was. And as a result of this, none of his classmates really ever saw him at any gathering, take away Homecoming this past year and now this – Prom.

A collective silence over took the room when Armin walked into the ballroom of some hotel that the school had booked for the event. A few people didn't notice, but those who knew - either personally or had heard of from a friend of a friend – all were shocked. Here was this sweet little introvert, adorned in a neatly pressed tuxedo, shined shoes and striking sapphire vest with tie and handkerchief to match. He held his hair in a ribbon and stood small next to Marco, to whom everyone called over and congratulated on "a beautiful set up!", "wonderful color scheme!", and the ever popular "nice choice in fruit punch". Marco would just blush and thank them, regaling the ladies how hard he'd worked before everyone had arrived with his team.

And he had worked extremely hard, Armin knew. He had sat there with him all afternoon, watching Marco and the others on the prom committee hang streamers and set up the tables against the walls with towering vases of roses and crystals with little LED tea lights all around them. Armin admired how hard he'd worked in the time given. It all looked very glamorous and it made Armin smile at how it all looked with the lights down low. He was glad, in a way, that he was here. If Marco hadn't have asked him, he'd probably be at home packing some more.

He sighed and remembered how Marco had asked him.

He had refused at first, flushing darkly. Marco was so close but the brunette pouted.

'Come on!' He begged, leaning on Armin. 'Please? It would piss off Jean-'

'I think it's funny how you think me being pounded into a pulp is a good idea if it's going to piss him off.' Armin commented but Marco just shook his head.

'I'll pay for your tux rental. We don't have to taunt him, just...come with me?' He asked.

Armin, in that moment, had looked into Marco's eyes and was ready to leave – but he also knew that the boy wasn't in the best place to lose his company right now. With a sigh, he agreed and almost lost his life that day with a bone crushing hug.

Armin shuddered remembering being smashed against him like that, choking for air. He was shocked out of his reminiscing by a slap on his back. He glanced back and saw Jean. The blond looked around and saw that everyone was sitting down and being waited on by men in work uniforms. "Jean-" he breathed but the taller just pulled him aside and shoved him against a wall. Armin winced but Jean laughed wholeheartedly. "Dude! I didn't know you'd be here! I'm so glad. Where is Marco?" He asked, almost out of breath. That was an odd way to greet someone.

After getting the shit scared out of him, Armin regained himself and brushed Jean off of him. "I..don't know. I zoned out." He laughed softly, brushing himself off when Jean continued to look around. He seemed really anxious. "...Hey, are you okay-"

"No, man- shit...I...gotta find him, please help?" He asked, grabbing Armin's shoulders again. The blond looked into the other's eyes and saw his anxious feeling rimming his irises, with a twinge of fear, but mostly laced with love and guilt. Armin smiled and shrugged him off. "I...Are you sure he wants to see you? He was pretty mad today." He said, crossing his arms. He knew he was being kind of bratty but Jean looked like he was in a place not to argue. His suspicions were confirmed when Jean looked at him, only moving his eyes and he sighed loudly.

"Please, it...it's important! You've gotta let me go to him." Jean begged, his hands together. Armin was shocked when he even fell on his knees in front of him, bowing his head. "Armin, help...I messed up. I...love Marco-"

"You lov-" Armin began, not completely shocked that Jean felt this way for Marco, just shocked that he was saying his feelings aloud. He was cut off in that instant by Jean's sweaty hand on his mouth. "Hey, shut up! Don't let anyone hear you." He hissed and this made Armin a little pissed.

The blond pulled away from his peer and glared up at him, his eyes holding a fire Jean had never seen before.

"Jean, did you just hear yourself?" He asked, crossing his arms. At this, Jean looked surprised that he would speak against him. Armin ran his fingers through his bangs and shook his head. "...This is why Marco is mad at you. He knows you love him. He loves you too...but he's scared." He began, making Jean shift and the other cross his arms back.

"What makes you think he's scared?" Jean asked in a small voice. This made Armin scoff.

"Y-You don't want anyone to know you love him. How do you think that would feel? And why? Because school is almost over, because outside of high school comes college and you can love him freely- how none of that matters and that you should show him you love him! If you act afraid someone will spot you being in love, then you aren't worth it!"

Armin hadn't realised that he'd gotten so upset that he was raising his voice slowly with every point he made. He noticed that Jean had his head bowed and had taken a step back during his rant, making Armin feel a little bad. "...Jean, I'm sorry, but what you're doing to him and yourself isn't right. It's not going to work if you are this worried about showing off Marco." He whispered, walking past Jean but didn't get far, the taller taking the other's sleeve. Armin stood in place and sighed before Jean spoke.

"Take me to him. I...you're right. I'll show him I love him."

Armin turned and looked at his face. A smile tugged on Jean's lips as he looked at Armin. The shorter couldn't help but to smile, tugging him along. "Come on. He's probably sitting down." He told him, leading him to the table where he was sitting, chatting with Eren. Armin stopped for a second and it took his all to take another step forward.

He watched as Eren smiled, the light dimmed around him, making his eyes a dark green as he looked at Marco. He wore a chartreuse vest with bow tie that looked neat against his muscular frame. He had his hair slicked back, his class ring proudly splayed on his right middle finger, the emerald sparkling against the fake candles inches from his hand. Armin took a hard swallow and sat beside Marco, his back straight as he looked at his place setting. He tried blocking out Eren's voice but he was taken from his trance when he heard that voice say, "Hey, Ar."

Armin closed his eyes and pursed his lips into a thin line. He turned his head and flushed, chin in his hand. "...Hi." he muttered after the music started so he couldn't really be heard.

That bastard. He didn't want to see him or talk to him and it seemed like Eren didn't want that either. So why now? God, he knew how to play Armin and it pissed the blond off. He hoped he'd leave the table soon. However, Eren stayed when their salad came, stayed until supper was finished, only exchanging comments to each other indirectly and the brunette didn't move even when Marco and Jean had left to share a dance. In the middle of their steak, Jean told Marco that he loved him and they both ended up a sappy mess. They were currently dancing in the middle of the dance floor when Armin began to wonder when Eren would leave. The brunette stayed where he was, playing some game on his phone.

The blond sighed and stood after a moment, crossing the floor to the bathrooms. He was sick of the tension that he could cut with a knife, he was sick of the silence, even if he wasn't any better at not giving the silent treatment. Armin had nothing to say to Eren and didn't really wanted to think of anything nice to say. He just wanted to yell and scream about how he'd done him wrong but the blond knew that wouldn't save their friendship. He knew it wouldn't help anyone. He had to get away.

Before he reached the door, Armin heard someone running up behind him. He figured it was one of the guys who'd been dared to chug half of the punch that they were given but he realised he was wrong when the person stopped in front of him. Armin looked up and his heart clenched as it always had whenever he's seen Eren look at him like that. He was either worried or constipated and Armin guessed the latter of the two since Eren hadn't seemed to give a shit about him as of late.

"Hey-" He began, grabbing Armin's shoulders. Eren tried to make the shorter look into his eyes but Armin wouldn't have it. He continued to look away when Eren continued. "You haven't spoken to me all night." He told him, almost harshly, in a whisper of a voice. Armin glanced up at him and shook his head.

"What does it matter? I have nothing to say anyway."

At this Eren scoffed and took his hands off of Armin, crossing them across his chest. "Armin. Tell me what you have to say. I'm a big boy, I think I can take it-"

"No. I said what I had to the last time we spoke. I don't have anything else to say!" Armin rose his voice in anger, his hands animating his feelings. He didn't want to feel that white rage that he felt bubbling up behind his eyes before he started screaming and pushing the taller away. He took in a deep breath and walked past Eren but the taller grabbed his sleeve.

That was it.

Armin ripped his arm away from Eren and glared up at him. "What? What is so fucking important that you have to bug me and taunt me?" He hissed, keeping his arm close to his body so Eren wouldn't dare reach for it. His hand balled into a fist when Eren took a step closer, the other glaring a little harder. He didn't want to see but Eren didn't look like himself. His eyes look like they've dulled considerably and the slight fuzz of what could have been stubble was a patch now on his jaw, as if he rushed to look good for some reason. Armin looked away as Eren let his arms fall to his sides, a hand restlessly going to mess his slicked back hair up a little.

"Armin, you...You've never listened to my ideas. You've always told me there...was another way of doing something." He whispered, jaw clenching the slightest bit as he looked at their feet. "...Ar, you...even now, I can't talk to you about this because I'll...fuck that up too." Eren sighed and balled his fists, closing his eyes. Armin couldn't believe that Eren was saying these things. And why? Of course he'd always been there for him! What about the other way around? When Armin was in the mathletes and went to Toronto and Eren just said congratulations and didn't even ask him about it but called him a nerd? And the time when-

"...I'm sorry." Eren broke Armin's thoughts and kept his voice strong, his eyes looking into the blond's.

Armin was shocked. "Y-You're...sor-"

"I- Let me finish, Armin." Eren hissed and took another step closer. "I'm...sorry that all of this happened. I'm sorry I was rude and I'm sorry you embarrassed yourself."

"I'm not." Armin told him firmly. "I'm not sorry. You deserved to hear what I told you, I couldn't lie to you! I wouldn't want to. I'm not sorry."

"I know!" Eren suddenly rose his voice making Armin take another step back. The other put his hands in his hair and gripped the brunette that wouldn't come off his scalp. "You- That's not what I'm trying to say, Armin."

"What _are_ you trying to say?" Armin asked, crossing his arms. "Because, I am sick of these fucking mind games. I'm sick of you hating me but still wanting to be my friend-"

"-Hate? Who said I-"

"I hate being away from you! I hate leaving for college because I don't want to see your face!" Armin couldn't stop now. He was a caged animal being poked until he snapped and he was close to attacking.

At that last sentence, Eren stopped. He was calm as he watched Armin. He smiled, hurt, and scoffed as one arm fell to his side, hand on his hip, and the other stayed on his neck, rubbing the muscles for lack of anything better to do. Behind them, in the ballroom, the music had been hushed, and as they tuned in, a loud cheer erupted. They must have already crowned the King and Queen. How long had they been out there?

Armin just shook his head and started back toward the table, trying to distance himself from Eren, happy when he finally got far enough away that he knew that Eren wasn't tailing him. He walked back into the ballroom and sat at the table he was at, trying to be quiet as the King and Queen were dancing. Armin, despite what had just happened, smiled when he saw Marco dancing with Krista, the both of them dancing. It was the middle of the song and they both had broken off from each other, Krista finding Ymir and making her dance, and Jean joining Marco to kiss his cheek. The guys from the football team all cheered as they danced and made wolf whistles as Marco flushed and Jean gave them all looks. Armin sat eventually and waited for the song to end. He was in the middle of a text to Mikasa when the DJ announced one last song before prom would be over. The girls pouted and a collective sigh from the male audience resonated but they made the best of it.

Marco and Jean hopped over to Armin and the brunette gave the shorter a big hug, almost choking him. "Hey, lazy bones! Where did you go?...Where is Eren?"

"There he is, Marc," Jean said, pointing to the doors. Armin just looked back down at his phone when Marco stood straight and kept his hands on Armin's shoulder's, massaging them gently. Armin felt like crying when Eren wouldn't look at him now.

"Hey, Yeager, we're going to a party. Do you want to come?" Jean asked and the brunette shrugged, a smile stretching on his face. It made Armin sick, like his heart was breaking. "Yeah, I'll join." Eren answered and Marco leaned on Armin.

"Do you wanna come, Ar?" Marco asked and Armin shook his head, standing. He grabbed his coat and shoved his phone in his pocket.

With a sigh, Armin glanced at Eren, who was staring at him intently, his face completely blank. He shook his head and gave a small and sad smile. "...No. Thank you, Marco." He whispered, giving the brunette a hit on the shoulder as he walked out of the room.

Armin Arlert had been a nerd since day one. He liked maths and science and was never part of the popular crowd. This sort of drama never hit his front door, but when it had, Armin had no way of dealing with it.

It's not like he was planning on a fun night in the first place.


	9. Pt 1 - Ch 8: Omnia Sol

**WOW! HII! I have been a really bad writer for not reaching out to you guys ;; ;; I'm sorry, please forgive me!**

I want to thank everyone for their support on this fanfiction. As most of you know, this is my first for the SNK fandom and I am so glad to have been welcomed into this. I wish I could kiss all of you on the cheek! Seriously, this has been my biggest success since I first started writing, but I promise, we don't wanna go to _that _story xD"

This is the last chapter for Armin's part – or Part One. The next part will be attached to this title as Eren's part. I hope all of you will continue to read, since this is faaarr from over! Eren's part is just as, if not more, important. And it will be heavy on the other characters, like Jean, Marco, Mikasa, and a few others!

If any of you are interested, I am also on Tumblr as the same pen-name I have on and AO3 (or well-hello-bright-eyes) c: I would love to see some of you there, I promise I am not a loser – well, scratch that, I am a loser. However, I am lovable!

Thank you all again so much and I now present Chapter 8: The End of All Things.

I promise this won't be the end, though c;

**Part 1 – Chapter 8: The End of All Things**

The rain was always something calming to Armin. It felt so fresh, so clean. It always washed away his worries, his faults – it purified him and made him feel cleansed.

He supposed that it was the most opportune time to come down on his graduation day.

The day had started out hot and sunny as Armin was forced to go around with Marco and get some smoothies in town, as well as run around to different parks and beat other kids at"lava". Since Marco was so tall, however, he hit his head more often than he'd admit and Armin laughed the whole time. The blond was trying hard not to think about prom and it was working. Marco didn't mention much, except to talk about him and Jean and that Armin didn't mind a bit. He loved that his friends had finally gotten together. They really deserved it.

When they had finished goofing around, Armin and Marco had driven back to the Arlert household to get ready.

"Armin, we'll be late!" Marco called from the bathroom. Armin just sighed, drying his hair on a towel. "Why don't you go ahead? I'll catch a ride with Grandfather." He called. To this he heard Marco laugh and knock on the door once more. "See you on the other side!" He called and whistled as he walked away.

Armin just smiled and shook his head as he washed his face and dried the rest of his skinny body off with the plush blue towel. He dressed in a light blue button up with an ivory sweater vest and black slacks. He decided against his converse, instead putting on the old pair of loafers that his Grandfather had handed down to him to add a little class. After one last look in the mirror, he rolled up his sleeves and gave himself a smile.

He could do this. This was the last time that he would be entering the school and he was okay with that. Armin wasn't looking to be nostalgic today. It was the next step to his future, to being himself. He was going to go somewhere and be someone. He was going to accomplish greatness – and it was more than his father could say, more than his Grandfather could hope for.

He exited the bathroom and came face to face with his Grandfather -Edward-, what hair he had was pushed into a comb over and his beard was groomed nicely. He wore pretty much what Armin wore and the old man chuckled. "This won't do. I think one of us needs to change, and it won't be me."

No matter how much grief and worry his Grandfather had given him over the years, no matter how hard the man tried, Armin had always felt safe around him. He laughed at what the man said and was pulled into a hug. The blond felt his chest tighten as he was squeezed lovingly by the only family he had left. Armin laughed despite himself and he looked up into the soft graying eyes of the man who took care of him since he was three years old.

"Well, I was ready before you, so you have to change." Armin countered and pulled away from the hug. At this, the older man smiled and ruffled his hair. This did make Armin pout a little but he didn't mind, honestly.

They went to the old pick up truck that Armin's Grandfather had owned since Armin was six years old. It was honestly a clunker but the old man didn't want to part with the rusting red paint and cracking upholstery that was now covered with a bed sheet. Armin buckled himself in and looked out the window. He smiled when he saw that the clouds were graying and there was a slight rumble of thunder in the distance. With a groan, the old man got into the driver's seat and buckled in too. "...Looks like there'll be a storm, Ar. First one of the year." He commented, staring the truck and shifting into reverse.

Armin nodded and smiled. Upon the exit of the house, Armin had grabbed his cap and gown, stroking the blue fabric. "...I know. It will be wonderful." He said softly, leaning against the door.

After they backed out of their driveway and started on the road to the school, both of them were silent until Mr. Arlert cleared his throat.

"Armin, do you mind...if I pry?" He asked, glancing at his grandson briefly before his eyes going back to the road.

Armin was out of his trance in an instant and he looked at his Grandfather. He sat straighter in his seat and nodded. "...You may." He said softly, curious as to what the other man was going to say. It was silent until Edward said something that came out in a blunt statement. "You haven't been yourself since you turned eighteen. Not that it's a bad thing. You are growing up and I know I've missed half of your life. I have been getting better, you've noticed." For a second, Edward chuckled and shrugged. "I just...noticed something about you."

Armin looked at his grandfather and scoffed a little. "...Grandpa-"

"No, listen, Armin." His voice was stern and he looked at Armin when they stopped at a light. The truck idled and sputtered beneath and around them and it was silent again. Armin shrunk a little under the concerned gaze that his guardian gave him. "You need to listen, Armin. I've noticed something with you and that Yeager boy." He continued, turning in the lane when the light turned green.

At this, Armin froze. Oh my god, everyone really did know, huh? With a sigh, Armin shook his head. "It's not what you think, Grandpa-"

"Armin, stop. You don't need to lie to me." Edward laughed and patted his grandson's shoulder. "...I'm going to tell you a story." He said and Armin groaned in embarrassment.

"Once upon a time," Edward continued, "There was this girl. I was like you when I was younger, very quiet and studious. I was often by myself and that resulted in bullies, just like you used to have. Now-" Armin tried to interrupt but Edward waved a hand in the blond's face "when I was fifteen, we had a new girl in our grade. Oh, goodness, Ar, she was gorgeous. She was a spunky little shit too."

"Grandfather!" Armin laughed at the language the older man used. Edward just laughed.

"She stole my heart. And she won it when she fought off the biggest bully I had. Bobbie Braus." He laughed again. "Your friend Sasha's granddaddy hated my guts for some reason and this girl, with the pretty hair and pretty face stood between him and I and said, 'Your face smells and you're just mad because Edward is a lot nicer than you'll ever be'. And do you know what he did, next?"

"What?" Armin asked, intrigued now. This girl sounded pretty awesome.

"She punched him where the sun didn't shine."

At this, they both winced, but Armin laughed. "Wow...that must have been something for you, Grandpa."

"Oh, it was. I'd never been helped like that before. She took my hand and helped me up and asked me to Homecoming." He continued and Armin shook his head, smiling. "She sounds awesome."

"Do you know who that girl was?" Edward asked and smiled brightly when Armin shook his head. "Ellen Arlert."

"Grandmother?" He asked, almost in disbelief. "No, she couldn't have done something like that?"

"Well, boy, she did. And I loved her from that moment on. You look just like her, you know. May be weird since you're my little man, but you have that spark in your eyes. You smile the same way she did. You talk big like she does when you talk about your dreams. Your grandmother loved the ever-loving shit out of you, just like I loved her."

Armin smiled and flushed a little as he looked down at his lap. "..Did this have a point?" He asked, laughing to himself. Edward shrugged. "...Just that I'm proud of you, kid." He said, patting Armin's shoulder. With a sigh, Edward also replied, "And because I know how it feels to look at the person you love more than anything in the world and have them completely turn you down."

Armin's smile fell and he nodded softly. His hands gripped the fake satin of the graduation gown as he listened to his grandfather, though his heart was pounding in his ears. "...I don't love him." He whispered.

They pulled into the guest parking of the school and Edward turned off the engine; the two of them sat in silence, listening to the seniors and their families run by them to get a good seat in the auditorium. Edward pulled Armin into a hug and sighed as the teenager went limp. "...Armin, I know I haven't been around for your teenage years but...son, I know that look anywhere." He pulled Armin away and smiled. "...I love you for who you are. This isn't some witch hunt if you are gay. I just want you to know, seeing that he hasn't been around...that if you told him and he doesn't want anything to do with you, he isn't worth your tears. What he thinks of you is not your worth. What you think of yourself and how you heal is your worth. And you are worth the world."

Armin looked into his grandfather's eyes and noticed that his eyes were brimming with tears. The blond felt his heart pang and he kissed the man's cheek, smiling. "Thank you, grandpa." He whispered, squeezing him.

"I am so proud of the man you've become. Don't forget that, little man." Edward whispered and Armin nodded, feeling himself begin to cry.

All of these things were the words he'd wanted to hear months ago, but it was better than never hearing them come from his grandfather. He was so happy to feel understood, to feel loved like this. He hoped that it would be like this when he moved out and that his grandfather wouldn't regress to what he used to be when they were in debt.

Armin pulled away and wiped his eyes, Edward giving him a smile. "You can do it, kid." He said, kissing his forehead before they opened the doors of the truck. With an arm around his grandson, they walked into the school where Armin soon joined Marco and Jean, thankfully not seeing Eren anywhere. He waved to his grandfather, who went to get a seat in the auditorium.

Marco hugged the blond and asked if he was okay, seeing his red eyes. For the first time in a while, Armin smiled brightly and was truthful when he nodded. "I feel okay." He whispered and Marco jumped with him in his arms, shaking the blond. They both laughed and teased each other.

Until their principal came to announce that it was time to line up like how they'd practiced, Armin hadn't seen Eren anywhere. He looked behind him all the way to the back and sighed as he didn't see the brunette. It unnerved Armin but he looked ahead as he began walking with the rest of the class. He could hear Pomp and Circumstance in the distance, growing louder as they approached. 

This was it, and Armin was now conflicted.

When he entered the dimly lit auditorium, he thought of all the times he'd been there with Eren, like the first of that year, for band and choir concerts where they'd goof around before hand and go to pizza with their classmates even if they sucked in their performances. It made Armin's heart clench thinking about the times he'd spent with Eren, only to throw it away because he didn't feel the same way. He'd been stupid. Was it really better this way?

As he sat with his class after climbing onto the stage, they all sat when the band had finished playing and the applause from the audience was deafening. Armin smiled and looked at his hands, pale against the bright sapphire blue fabric but he didn't notice as he became more and more anxious.

The principal approached the podium and began speaking about the class achievements such as test scores, football, baseball, their track team, the art and music department and the mathletes. He smiled when he told the audience stories about some of the crazy things that had happened with this class over the years and ended with how he was going to miss them all. The girls started crying and the guys couldn't help but smile and look proud.

Armin was the first to graduate, as his last initials were the first in the alphabet, receiving his diploma, bowing slightly so his tassel could be moved properly. He found his grandfather in that instant, sitting next to Carla Yeager and Mikasa. They waved to him quietly, since they were asked not to cheer until everyone went. Armin felt tears well up in his eyes as he made his way back to his seat. So Eren was there.

That was all he needed to know.

After every one else was called and had gone through the process, Armin clutched the package in his hand and waited patiently alongside Sasha and Reiner as their principal announced the graduating class. A deafening cheer erupted from around him as everyone stood and threw their caps in the air. Armin kept seated, openly crying now. All around him was so much hope and happiness that he knew he'd never experience again from all of the people he grew up with.

He looked around as everyone hugged and kissed and saw Eren cheering alongside Jean, shaking his shoulders and jumping on chairs. Armin couldn't help but smile, despite all of the feelings he'd harbored against Eren. None of that seemed to matter right then.

* * *

That night, Armin sat with his grandfather, packing the rest of his things up for his trip to the university in the morning. They ate frozen pizza and drank sugarless kool-aid as Armin folded his shirts and set them in a duffel. Together they listened to the rain pour outside and the thunder roar. Edward joked with him and made sure his presence wasn't scarce this time. It meant the world to the youngest Arlert.

They had just finished when they had a knock on the door. Armin looked up as he was taping a box; with a grunt, his grandfather stood. "I'll get it." He smiled and opened the door. Armin watched the door and his heart fell as Eren appeared at the door. The blond slowly stood, even if his chest was clenching; he walked slowly and smiled a little at his grandfather. "Could you excuse us?" Armin asked and Edward just nodded, walking back to where he was seated before.

Armin glanced at Eren's shoes and shooed him out of the way so they could talk a little more privately. He flashed back to prom but he shoved the thoughts from his head as he closed the door with a soft click. The sound was consumed by the rain pouring around them, the boys staying dry because of the cover the porch provided.

Armin smiled a little, lips tight as they quirked up awkwardly. "...Hi." he said, just a little over the rain. He glanced up a little and noticed that Eren smiled a little.

"Hey," came Eren's response, his hands in his pockets. It wasn't cold out, but he had his letterman jacket on, the school's emblem on his left breast. He looked like he ran here but Armin knew that was impossible. He was about to ask why Eren was here, but before he could, the brunette pulled a hand from his pocket.

"Congratulations, man." Eren smiled, waiting for Armin to shake his hand. Armin's smile faded as he looked at the tan hand. He sighed and shook it, hands shaking slightly against Eren's. He swallowed the lump in his throat and closed his eyes. "...Mikasa told you?" He asked and Eren nodded.

"Dude, that's the coolest. A-And you're leaving tomorrow?" He asked, taking his hand back and putting it in his pocket. At that, Armin nodded and kept his hands at his side. "Y-Yeah. They're letting me go for...early lodging. I'm going to get a head on my work so I can graduate faster, too," He said and Eren laughed.

"Man, you haven't changed." He said softly, almost fondly. Armin nodded and laughed. "...Well, what about you? Do you have any plans?" He asked, rubbing his own arm, gripping at the fabric of his pajama shirt. He wasn't surprised when Eren shrugged. "Not really," was the reply and Armin nodded again.

"You'll find something," the blond smiled. Eren nodded. It fell quiet between them and Armin was about ready to turn around when Eren laughed softly, his voice sounding thick.

"...Man, I...can I just...um, apologise?" He asked, looking away. Armin was surprised at this and stood where he was. He didn't move. "...Eren, you don't have to."

"But I want to. I want to because...I was rude and...now you hate me." Eren told him.

There it was. The fire in Eren's eyes colliding with the coolness of Armin's. The fact that no one on in this world was more important at that moment. That feeling that Armin was the only one who existed in this fucked up world.

At Eren's statement, Armin was quiet. He wanted to say that he didn't hate Eren, because he didn't. He was confused, and hurt, and still very much in love with the boy as he had been since the day he realised he always had been in love. Armin shook his head and sighed.

"Armin, I was rude. I can never fix that...but I hope someday I can make it up to you and prove just how sorry I am. I know right now isn't a good time...but someday I hope you'll understand." He whispered. He took a step forward and hugged Armin tightly, arms around the blond's neck. The shorter felt a warm drop of water fall on his cheek and he knew that it wasn't the rain.

Eren pulled away before Armin could even move, and he was forced to watch Eren retreat as fast as he came, unable to speak or stop him. Armin didn't fully gather himself until Eren was pulling out of the drive way and headed home.

When he did realise what happened, Armin didn't stop crying. He sobbed as he fell to his knees where Eren had just stood, hands and body shaking. He couldn't breathe, just like how he couldn't a few months ago when the snow was around the soles on his feet.

Armin was leaving tomorrow and he had lost Eren.

* * *

When the next day came, sun shining in his face and the smell of bacon and eggs filling his nose, Armin plastered on a smile for his grandfather.

After breakfast, they packed the truck and trailer up and began the three hour journey to Armin's new home. The blond tried to feel happy, but with everything that had happened in the past few hours, he couldn't fool himself. If this was how he was going to start his life, he didn't want it at all.

When they arrived, the Arlerts checked Armin in and set him up as best as they could. He was able to have a dorm to himself for a few months and it brought Armin a little peace.

It wasn't long after lunch that Edward Arlert said his good byes, kissed his grandson and went away into the distance.

Armin Arlert was now alone. He would begin his life anew and his past was past. He looked around his walls and smiled sadly, sitting on his bed where he proceeded to cry to himself.

He clung onto the only thing that made him hopeful, and that was that he was going to make it in life. And at the moment, that was his only comfort in the world. It was good enough for him.


	10. Pt 2-Ch 9: It's Down to This

**Hey, guys! Thank you so much for reading this far! I seriously hope I can pick up all of your feels and tape them back together. This part is a lot better and a little more fun~ Here, without further adieu, is Eren's part.**

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**Part 2 – Chapter 9: It's Down to This**

When Eren was five, his father had thrown away a cigar box that had been embossed with gold on a deep brown lacquer upon the cheap wood, adorned with a small clasp on the front that would keep it closed. The young boy had been sitting beside his mother in the kitchen when his father had stalked from his study to place the hollow container deep in the trash can.

"Carla," he had said, standing feet away from her and his voice quiet and steady "take this out immediately. I don't want Eren or Mikasa digging around in it."

Eren had looked up when he'd heard his father then looked to her mother, whom had sighed and gave her husband a look. He stood with his toy car in hand and walked to Grisha, smiling. "Why?" He'd questioned, eyes glowing alive, curiosity gleaming. "Is it fun?" Bouncing on his heals, Eren hoped that it was a surprise, a game. Maybe, just maybe, Grisha wanted to play with him. Instead, his father turned on his heel without answering the boy. Feeling a little discouraged, Eren sat back down and sighed as he pushed the toy car back and forth against the tile.

"Mama, why doesn't daddy play with me?" He had asked and Carla immediately turned from doing the dishes from lunch and sat down beside him to kiss the boy's cheek and hug him close. She sighed, petting his hair and she smiled a little. "...Your papa is a very important man. You know that he runs the hospital, right? Well, he has a lot of paper work to transfer and file." She explained but this made her son groan.

"But he comes out for lunch and comes out when we have family over and doesn't look at me." He sighed. "Did I make him sad?" Eren looked up at his mother with bright green eyes, pouting as his mother suddenly sniffled and pulled him closer.

"Mama, why are you crying?" He asked, squishing her cheeks together. He gave her a stern look slash pout and this made his weepy mother smile softly. It wasn't much but it made Eren feel better.

"Oh, sweetheart...He loves you. You make him happy." Carla Yeager whispered and hugged him close. "You make the sun shine brighter every day, little one."

Eren smiled and kissed his mother's cheek. "That's not me, Mama!" He giggled as she tickled him. He was glad his mother was smiling because of him. He never wanted to see her sad.

After Mikasa came home from school, the three of them sat down for dinner, as Grisha had yet another late meeting to attend. Soon after, the little ones were able to watch one television show before bedtime when Carla tucked them in alone.

Eren had waited until everyone was asleep to sneak out of his bed with the Toy Story blanket and matching sheets to pad downstairs. His mother hadn't taken out the garbage that afternoon, so what his father had thrown away had to still be there. He opened the top and peered inside past the uneaten food he'd had on his plate to see a dark brown box with a black lid. His little hands reached inside and he took out the light box with gold clasp and designs. He tilted his head as he looked at it, moonlight pooling into the kitchen and reflecting off the shiny top. He quickly snuck it upstairs and turned on his bedroom light so he could look at it better.

It was really beautiful, but in that boy sort of way. It was the most grown up thing he'd ever held in his life, the words "Cuban Cigars" embossed in gold and silver. He couldn't understand it at the time but as Eren grew, he looked at those words a thousand times.

At the time, the young boy couldn't hide it in his room. He had to find a special place where his Mom and Dad wouldn't find it and get himself in trouble. He'd hide it in the garage in the morning, tucking the empty box under his stuffed teddy that sat on the floor - he was too old for Sir Stuffins, anyway.

It had been hidden away for a long time, going through cold winters and blistering summers before Eren had ventured into the garage, now a young man of fifteen. He was in his full winter gear since the temperature was below freezing and then some – and even though it was only a few steps to the garage, Carla demanded he stayed covered. With a roll of his eyes he went on the "treacherous" journey to grab the Christmas decorations, listening to his mother.

Over the past few years, Carla had been dealing with divorcing Grisha Yeager and becoming her own woman again with the help of Eren and Mikasa. This was the first year since the divorce that she wanted a Christmas party with her family, along with her children's friends. At this, Eren had been relieved because he sure as hell didn't want to be around his Grandmother June talking about her bunions and bowel movements before she could take her medicine. He shuddered thinking about it as he grabbed the box that said "X-MAS" in bold black letters. He reached up and grabbed it, having been heavier than he remembered.

As the box fell gracefully in his arms, something that had been on top of that had hit his head, sharp corner to his forehead and the teen winced, dropping the box completely. Thank goodness it was just the Christmas tree or his mother would kill him for sure. He looked around for the thing that had assaulted him, spotting the old box sitting on it's side. With a smile, he picked it up and opened it up, frowning. He should have left something inside, like a time capsule thing. With a shrug, he took both boxes inside to his mother who was getting cozy in her sweater dress.

"Isn't it cold out?" She asked, looking at Eren's rosy face as he came inside. The brunette sneered and handed her the box. "It's not bad, Mom."

At that, Carla laughed and took the box, blowing off the frozen dust that sat atop of the slowly eroding cardboard. She was surprised to see the old cigar box, setting everything on the dining room table, picking up the lacquered box. With a sad smile she shook her head. "...Where did you get this, Eren?" She asked, running fingers over the top.

Eren looked up as he took off his red scarf and kicked off his boots. "Huh? Oh- Mom! That's mine-"

"Eren, don't get so defensive." She warned, looking inside of it. "It's empty anyway. I'm not mad. You deserve this. It would have been the only thing your father gave you." Carla bit and Eren sighed. He hugged his mother and kissed her cheek. "Mom, come on. Not today." He said softly and yanked the box from her hands and tossed it on the couch. He and his mother decorated as Eren thought of what he could do with the box.

Over the years, Eren filled the box with rocks he'd found that intrigued him, with the wing patch of his varsity jacket, notes with Jean that were filled with cartoon boobs and penises, his social security card, his crush's picture and something that was the most valuable thing in the world: a card that Armin had given him for his thirteenth birthday.

The cover of the birthday card had a picture of a puppy with a birthday hat and it had said on the inside, with lovely writing:

"Eren- For the best friend I could have ever wanted. I hope you have a good birthday, durka!" a stupid smiley face sticker attached on the bottom.

Eren always laughed at it for some reason, probably because whenever he remembered getting it, he was sugar high from all the cake and candy his family had spoiled him with and it became a laughing matter that Armin had wrote "durka" at the end. He had no idea how it started, but from that birthday until Armin turned sixteen, they called across hallways yelling "durka durk" and "eyyy" before they would get in trouble by teachers.

It took Eren the longest time to understand why Armin suddenly stopped one school year and whenever he'd mention it, Armin, his best friend in the whole world would shy away from the phrase they'd shared. Even Mikasa, though in a grade ahead, thought it was weird. Eren never asked him though, figuring it was because Armin didn't want it to get out of hand and get them into any trouble.

It took Eren even longer to realise it was because Armin loved Eren.

Armin Arlert, his best friend in the whole wide world, was in love with him. And why? Eren wasn't anything to look at, he thought. He was kind of a jerk, when he wanted to be, scruffy haired and dumb-eyed as he'd stare into space for math and English lectures. He still made poop jokes and made fart noises under his arm pits. Eren Yeager was embarrassing and a jock – a lethal combination – and Armin, no matter what, had loved him since day one.

The day after Armin's birthday when he'd come to apologise for whatever he'd done to upset his friend this time and Armin kissed him, it was like a brick to the face with the sudden realisation that this was the reason why his best friend had been so shy, so defensive, so...weird. How could Eren, being someone who was so oblivious, react to the feelings besides lash out at his gentle friend? As Eren looked back on it now, he hated himself for it. He hated that he'd pushed Armin to the ground then toyed with him by pulling him back so he could apologise. When Prom came, he knew he couldn't just apologise. When he'd followed Armin out to the bathrooms, he was going to ask him to dance, to let Eren show him how sorry he was for fucking everything up.

He figured Armin wouldn't accept him. He should have known right away, from the hints the other was dropping that he wanted nothing to do with him. How could he be so blind? He didn't love Armin back like Armin loved him, if you could call it love. Maybe an infatuation? Maybe because Armin admired him? Hell, Eren didn't know worth a damn. He would never understand. After graduation night, that was the last time he'd seen Armin for a long time.

After graduation night, when he'd said his last goodbyes to Armin, he drove away crying, windows rolled down and blaring his music. He didn't care that the rain was getting into his car or his music was too loud for city limits; he'd just broken his own heart by letting Armin go just like that and he wasn't about to give a damn about what anyone else felt.

Armin had been there for him since day one, when Eren had came and kicked the bully's stomach to get away from Armin. He didn't care if he was in trouble with Grisha at that point, didn't care that the principal had already hated him; that cute boy with the blond hair was safe and he wasn't crying any more. That's all Eren Yeager cared about. No one messed with the people he loved.

But had it always been that kind of love? The like-like love that teenagers had always wanted, that old married couples had, that made babies, that made lives and built homes; the love that made the winter warm and made the strongest people shiver on the hottest of summer days. Had it been so intense that he'd felt it even as a little boy?

No, he thought, sitting in his car and wiping his nose on his sleeve. No, it couldn't have been. He was seven and the only love he'd gotten was from family. To have this boy who he'd only known for a little while become so attached and Eren stick to him right back – that couldn't have been the makings of love. Eren ran his fingers through his hair and laughed to himself bitterly. What the hell did he know of what made love what it was?

Eren always had butterflies around Armin. He had always wanted to put his hair in braids and even thought as far as kissing his little elfin nose. He'd always expelled the thoughts from his head, though, but he knew he was turning red on the outside. What made him feel this way? Why did he look at Armin how he had? Why had Armin not notice?

Eren began to sob again, head against his steering wheel as he sniffled.

Armin was gone and there wasn't anything he could do about it.

The summer passed by with Eren sitting at his computer or up in his room, face against his fan. Marco and Jean had asked him to hang out many times but he didn't want to be in the middle of their couple-y time; it'd just remind him of Armin.

Everyone went to college that year and Eren was left to help his mother with her garden in the late summer months and had a job for a little while at the local burger joint but lost it because he soon became disinterested in it. With no one there to hang out with, Eren became a little depressed and sulked around his house. He had quit his job, though, which, he supposed, wouldn't look too bad on a resume. Eren didn't think about much more than how bored he was, though. His life wasn't interesting until he had heard that his mother had a visitor coming over for supper one night.

Armin's Grandfather, Edward, sat at his kitchen table that evening and passed Eren the salt shaker and talked to him about school, to which Eren didn't reply to. The whole time, Eren hoped that Edward would bring up Armin but there wasn't anything to talk about, apparently, as Carla had asked.

"Ah, he's too busy to talk to his own grandfather." Edward laughed, clearing plates for Carla and Eren. The younger stood and helped, following Edward into the kitchen from the dining room. He set the dishes in the sink and beside him, the older man stretched. He smiled down at Eren, being a head taller than the boy. Eren just glanced back, a small smile.

"...He's really not talking?" He asked Edward and the man shrugged.

"Eh, I don't mind. I figured it would happen. Even though I know he loves me, and I love him, he's been meaning to get out of this place for a long time. I think the only reason he didn't go crazy was you." He smiled and at this Eren grimaced a little.

There was a pregnant silence between them and suddenly Eren looked up at him. "...Mr. Arlert, if you need any help with anything, please let me know." He said and at this Edward smirked. "Did your mother tell you the real reason I was here?" He asked and Eren cocked an eyebrow.

"What?" He asked, confused. "She...just said we had a visitor."

Edward laughed and patted Eren on his back. "Well, son, I was actually going to ask if you would help me renovate the old cabin? I could use a strong boy like you. Besides, it's a surprise for Armin if he ever visits."

Eren didn't even think before he nodded, smiling brightly. He'd felt genuinely happy for the first time in a few months. "Yeah! Hell yeah, I'd love to help." He said, holding out his hand and Edward laughed, shaking the eager boy's hand.

"Good. We can start as early as tomorrow. We'll need to figure out what we need to fix and change." He winked and after a while, Edward had given his goodbyes with a kiss to Carla's cheek and a pat to Eren's back.

And sure enough, bright and early, Eren was at the household to discuss what Edward had envisioned for the old house. His ideas included a wrap around porch with matching swing, a green house that attached to the back of the house that doubled as a sitting room so Armin could read in peace, and a brand new kitchen that included a new paint job as well as appliances and indoor, living spice rack. Eren was excited to work on such a project with Edward and they began right away.

At first, Eren had no idea how to work a saw or screwdriver and what he lacked in skill, Edward taught him with patience, telling him how Armin had only helped a few times with these things and how nice it was to teach someone important life skills. Together, they worked in wind and rain, snow and extreme heat, bickering over women, politics and baseball scores. They painted, hammered nails, measured, cut glass, installed appliances, and drank when they had a moment or two. They didn't talk about Armin much, but when they did, Edward never mentioned anything about if Armin spoke of him or how he had felt when they were still in school together.

After two years, blood, trips to the emergency room for a rusty nail in skin or gash in the fingers that required glue, tears, and definitely buckets of sweat, the house was finished to what Edward had wanted and they had celebrated by drinking the cheapest and nasties beer in the whole state but they laughed. Eren had felt proud to have accomplished something so great with the man who now taught him everything he knew.

He even made Eren realise that he loved Armin.

Eren loved Armin and he wanted to shout it to the world. He wanted to tell everyone who walked by him that Armin was an angel, who wrinkled his nose when he concentrated on a book he loved, how he always cried when he watched "Titanic", how he sucked at sports but always played baseball with his friends, and how his laughter sounded like how roses felt being rubbed against someone's cheek.

He hated that it took him so long to realise but when he had, it was a wonderful feeling.

After the project with Edward, Eren had volunteered for a group that built houses for the homeless, enjoying the workout he got from it and the reward of making someone safe. He visited Edward often but after a while, he noticed that the older man was starting to regress to his old former self. He drank more often and cursed and cried and would fall asleep on the porch swing, the old sun hat over his face.

"Why won't he come back?" Edward would sob and it didn't take Eren long to realise that he was talking about Armin. He had noticed that the boy had become more and more scarce since Edward had told him that he was working on the old house. Apparently it caused a sour reaction and they hadn't talked since then. Eren hoped that Armin wasn't too pissed off – besides, the place needed it! They made it look beautiful and Armin should have been grateful.

Eren soon became busy with finding actual work and made time to volunteer, visiting now only once every two weeks to see Edward. The old man insisted that he was fine and Eren left him alone for a while again. He grew worried but work kept him more than busy.

A whole year and a half went by and Eren was almost twenty-two by the time he moved out of his own house that he shared with his mother and in with Jean and Marco, who had found a lovely house in town. They had both graduated, Jean now a lawyer-in-practice and Marco a kindergarten teacher, making Eren a little jealous that he wasn't as smart as they were. They still congratulated him on his hard work and dedication to volunteering. Eren would just shrug it off.

It was awkward living with his friends, however, between the nights of rough sex and thin walls, to fights over bills and Jean staying at the office too late, to the engagement of the both of them.

Then it all turned to wedding plans, more bills, more sex, until the wedding day actually came.

After the wedding, they still fought about Jean not spending enough time at home and it ended up in them finding a surrogate mother to give life to the newest edition to the Kirstein-Bodt-and-sometimes-Yeager family, Leland Kirstein-Bodt.

What boggled Eren's mind even more was the fact that the marriage and baby came within two years of them moving together. It was a lot to consume and Eren just lived comfortably in the middle.

Eren had begun to feel bad between work and the awkward little family he was part of that he hadn't spent much time around Edward, around his mother Carla or Mikasa. He made the effort to call his mother when Jean, Marco, and Leland made a day out together. Over the phone was tense and Eren soon figured out why when he heard his mother let out a sob after she'd answered.

"Oh, Eren..." she whispered, sniffling over the phone and Eren's heart dropped.

"Ma, what's wrong?" He had asked, gripping onto his phone with both hands. She was silent until she spoke the words that Eren definitely didn't want to hear, what made his heart sink and head spin. It outraged him and he saw only white for a long time.

"Edward Arlert passed away this morning."


	11. Pt 2-Ch 10: I'm With You

**Hi! Brittie here~ Sorry, I kind of lied about last chapter? I know you guys can't (and shouldn't) trust me but I promise that it will get better – for a while.**

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**Thank you for all of the comments, reviews, personal messages, favourites, bookmarks, follows and kudos from here and on AO3! You guys are my lifeblood c:**

**Part 2 – Chapter 10: I'm With You**

**-April-**

Eren had been sleeping in the day before the funeral, too mentally exhausted to have to deal with anyone or anything. He'd taken time off work for the funeral and barely came from his room unless it was to go to the bathroom or grab something to eat. His mother had visited once and had brought him some tea and some flowers. Eren saw that Carla was just as beaten up about this as he was; Edward would always bring her flowers from his garden and would fix any leaking pipes or squeaky doors that his childhood home had, always without a fuss, never asking for more than a cup of coffee and some conversation.

Carla had sat next to Eren, her clothes neat and pressed compared to Eren's three day old shirt which reeked of sweat from just sitting around. She had brought some cookies for them to share during the visit and when Eren didn't take any, she spoke up. "...Armin is coming home. The doctors had called him and told him the news. He's pretty upset too," she told him as if the mention of his ex-best friend would bring him comfort. It hadn't worked. Eren had just stood and kissed his mother after a while and promised that he'd see her before the funeral but he didn't hold up to his promise as he went and laid straight back into bed.

The night before the funeral, Eren hadn't slept a wink, laying in his bed and thinking about the bastard that could have robbed such a kind man from the world, so tender and sweet. Why would God want to take him? He had no use for any more old men in the sky.

It wasn't until Eren had heard a knock on his bedroom door that he snapped out of his trance and realise that the sun was shining into his bedroom already. He groaned, stiff from laying flat all night, looking at his clock. Seven? Shit, he had to be at the funeral home by nine. He sat up, rubbing his eyes and mumbled something before the door opened. He glanced and saw Marco with Leland in his arms. The brunette smiled. "...Can I come in, Eren?" He had asked, the baby cooing on his shoulder as he rocked him.

Eren nodded and moved his knees to his bare chest so there was space for Marco to sit. "...You were already up?" He asked with a yawn and Marco nodded, kissing his son's cheek. "Yes, this little thing was wailing all night. Didn't he wake you?"

At this, Eren shook his head. "I never went to sleep."

"Because of Lee?" Marco asked, looking at the baby as he sucked on his fist. Eren just smiled tightly and shook his head, looking at Leland. "No, I never...fell asleep." He said softly, holding out his arms. Marco sighed and handed the baby to his friend and watched him bounce the boy. "Eren," he said in a concerned voice, "that's not good for you. I know this has been a lot on your mind, and we're all hurting, but...you shouldn't take it like this."

Eren was silent as he listened to Marco breath, to Leland suckle on cloth, now. He clenched his jaw and shook his head. "Marco...I never knew my grandparents well enough to cry at their funerals. I...I knew Edward. I spent two years of my life working with him on something and...even before then he's been there. When Grisha left us, he always visited and...made sure we kids were safe. I...It's just hard." He said, tears surfacing at the corners of his eyes. No, he wasn't going to cry. He hadn't yet. It wasn't his place to cry. It was selfish to want Edward to be there for him, for his mom and Mikasa, for Armin.

Oh, especially for Armin.

He shook his head and took a shaky breath, handing Leland back to Marco after kissing his chubby, red cheek. "...He looks so much like you." He said, trying to change the subject. At this, Marco smiled and cradled Leland. "Yeah...Jean thinks so too." He said and nuzzled his little nose. "...Do you want us to come with today? It might help."

Eren had stood, clad only in his plaid pajama pants. He shook his head. "Come for Armin. I don't need comfort." He said before walking to the bathroom to shower. Even though it was hard to think of, Edward wasn't his to be sad over.

The car ride to the home had been quiet, radio off, windows rolled up in the early spring. The sun was shining and Eren hated it. He pushed back his already slicked hair and sighed. Jean had noticed his fidgeting – not because he was worried but because it was shaking the car – and slapped a hand onto his shoulder and squeezed it. "Hey, it'll be okay." He'd said and it hadn't reassured Eren much. He didn't let it; however, he nodded and gave Jean a small smile. "I know." He whispered and clenched his jaw as he went back to looking outside.

Jean had been different since he'd become a lawyer, always so matter-of-fact and in your face. Well, that wasn't different, but it was different. He was a little more concerned, as well, but it was probably just because he was a father, now. Eren didn't mind the new Jean, but he hated being a kid to he and Marco. They had enough problems.

Suddenly, Marco burst out from the back seat, a crack in his voice, "Armin is going to stay with us for a week-"

"What?" Eren suddenly asked, eyes wide, turning to see the brunette in the back seat, Jean joining him. The taller looked madder than Eren had been.

"Marco, what the hell?" He burst out as Eren had spoken, thankful that they were at a light or he would have stepped on his breaks. "Marc, I didn't know about this- Eren, I had no idea-"

"It doesn't matter! I am so sick of this childish avoidance with Eren and his feelings for Armin!" Marco had said to Jean but turned to Eren. "Honey, you know I love you, otherwise you wouldn't be living with us, but this has got to stop! You need to face him and he needs to face you. This feud has gone on for two many years over a stupid kiss!"

It wasn't a stupid kiss.

"Armin had his heart broken over you and you should apologise. You need to be friends again, that's the only way you two can get through this loss together. He has_ no one_, now, Eren. And even though old wounds still hurt, it will help him heal. It'll help you."

"Marc," Jean interrupted as they began driving again. "Does Armin even know Eren lives with us?" He asked this as if the man in question wasn't in the car, listening to everything. It irked Eren but what irked him even more was the silence from the brunette.

"Marco..." Eren started, clenching his fists. "I would give anything to see Armin. You _know_ that. But I can't force him. If he doesn't know, you'll piss him off-"

"Well, how else will he see you?" Marco asked, a laugh in his voice. He never liked being ganged up on. "How else will he want to see you? He sure as hell won't be happy to see you spewing about like he was _your_ grandfather."

That did it.

Eren turned around and yelled a fuck you before Leland started crying. "Don't. Don't fucking play that with me, Marco. You know he was still someone to me. Armin would understand-"

"Will he? Will he really be okay with knowing that you spent more time with him than his own grandson did?"

"Who's fault is that? He should have come home!" Eren roared over everything and it made Leland stop crying for a moment. Everything else was silent and Marco didn't say another word about it. Jean just sighed and drove into the parking lot. There weren't many cars around so he spotted his mother's corolla immediately. Fuming, he got out of the car and slammed the door shut as he headed to Carla and Mikasa, hoping that they'd be a little better toward him. They were talking to someone and when Eren called out to them, they turned and he saw Armin in his nicest suit, looking miserable.

Eren faltered and stood in his place as the two of them locked eyes across the seemingly endless expanse of the lot. He saw Armin crumple a little, his appearance shaken and small compared to, say, Mikasa who always stood tall no matter the situation. The brunette had felt this hidden sense of guilt unlock in his chest as it pooled into his lungs, stomach, surrounding his ribcage and pooling out between the spaces as it rose to his throat.

Suddenly, he felt that this was his fault Armin hadn't visited. It was his fault that Edward passed so suddenly. He was kept away because Edward had talked about Eren.

Eren tried to swallow it down but couldn't as he bowed his head.

All of this took place in a second but it felt like eons before he could step forward, everything frozen in time. As he approached his mother, she hugged him and kissed his cheek, smiling softly. "Hey, honey." She had said and Mikasa patted his shoulder. He saw that Armin felt out of place but Eren just nodded at them. "I...I'll let you guys go back to...talking." He said smiling. In one brave move, he looked at Armin and held out his hand for Armin to shake. The blond had hesitated before taking it but when he did, Eren gripped it tightly, but not enough to hurt him. It was as a reassurance. "..It's good to see you." He said softly before they let go of each other.

Armin had pulled his hand back after a moment and Eren thought it was cute, despite what was happening around them, outside of the world that inhabited the two boys. The blond nodded, a small smile through weak and tired eyes. "...Y...ou too, Eren." he whispered, his voice seeming raw. Eren didn't blame him. With a nod, Eren walked away and into the building to talk to some of the others who had gathered.

When the priest had called everyone into the chapel, Carla and Mikasa were invited to sit in the front row with Armin. Eren sat back beside Jean, avoiding Marco. He was still pissed off. Marco had only wanted to help but somehow ended up making it worse – it wouldn't compare to what he'd have to deal with though over the week Armin would be staying with them.

He watched Armin through the whole thing, sobbing between Carla and Mikasa as they hugged him tightly and kissed his cheeks. The priest had talked about knowing Edward personally and told Armin how lucky he had been to have such an amazing grandfather who not only served their country, but also served the community in ways Eren hadn't realised. He had volunteered at shelters, food shelves, and the playgrounds and parks planting flowers and trees and fixing the fountains. Armin was lucky, that much was for sure.

When the congregation had gathered in the cemetery, Armin stood by Mikasa as he watched his grandfather's friends carry the casket, the armed guard playing Taps on his trumpet. Eren held Leland, too jittery not to do something productive, and watched as Armin was handed the flag in the form of a triangle. As Edward was lowered, the small crowd began to disperse and Marco and Jean had went to Armin to comfort him. They led him to the parking lot and Eren followed after a while, looking at the soft dirt around the opening in the earth. With a smile, he silently said his goodbyes as he walked along side his mother and Mikasa. It was silent and Eren hadn't minded a bit.

After they had gotten onto the gravel, his mother's heels clicked and she looked up at her son. " Eren, I love you. Please come and visit sometime? I only work on weekends now." She had told him and Eren had looked at his mother. Her beautiful brown eyes had lost their luster and her hair, for a woman of fifty, had only just started to gray. She looked tired and gently he hugged his mother, kissing her forehead. "I will, Mom." He smiled and watched her leave with Mikasa to their car. He wished he hadn't been so distant.

Heading back to Jean's volvo, Eren watched as Marco had made Armin smile and they talked amongst themselves and Jean was probably texting a coworker. "Hey," he'd called, Leland looking around and making noise as they got closer to the three of them. The three of them looked up and what small smile Armin had wore was gone when he saw Eren. It broke the brunette's pride a little but he didn't let it bother him. "He needs a change," Eren just commented, handing the child over to Marco who took him and kissed his nose.

"Did you poop, you monster?" He asked, giggling. Leland just tried to push him away and fussed a little. Jean just rolled his eyes and Eren waited for Armin to say something – anything.

"So, shall we go?" Armin had finally asked and Marco nodded, turning to put his son in the car seat in the middle. 'Yeah, we can get going. Jean!" Marco had called and the man jumped, almost dropping his phone. He glared as Marco bent down in the slightest to kiss his cheek. Eren went to the other side of the car and opened the door. Before he got inside, Armin had watched him and asked, "Oh...Are you coming too?"

Damn it, Marco.

"Yeah..." Eren said after a while. "I share a house with them." He watched Armin as his expression turned blank, almost a little paler as he nodded.

"Marco didn't...say anything about that." He laughed softly and scratched his neck. "Not that it's a...a problem."

Of course it was.

Eren nodded, despite his thoughts and smiled a little smugly. "Well, we should get going. I'm starving." He got into the car and slammed the door, and buckled in, watching as Armin gave Marco a look that kind of scared the brunette, but he ignored it. What was the worst that could happen?

Eren had underestimated how much he would hate this week.

Since the first moment that they had stepped into the house, Armin was extremely tense around Eren and vice versa. Marco had joked as he was making dinner that night that he couldn't cut it with a knife, or even a blade. Neither laughed.

As they sat down at the table to eat, Jean had to sit between the two so they wouldn't fight, but having them sit across from each other wasn't any better as they wouldn't stop giving the other looks. It was pissing Eren off because he had no idea how much he had pissed the other off. Was it really that bad?

When they had finished eating, and Marco hadn't even started since he was too busy feeding Leland, Armin had stood and took his plate. "Can I help with dishes?" He had asked and this made Eren want to stand. He did and took his own dishes and reached a hand out for Armin's. "Nonsense, you're a guest. I can do them."

Armin had looked at Eren for a moment and laughed bitterly. "Nonsense, I asked Marco." He said cooly. Eren just narrowed his eyes a little and took Armin's cup. "And Marco is busy eating." He had said, still holding out his hand. "Give me the plate."

"Please," Marco had said to Eren, with his mouth full. The other rolled his eyes. "Please, Armin."

"No. I have nothing to give you. I owe you nothing. Let me do my dishes."

"Is this about dishes or how you two boned in school?" Jean had questioned and the two standing both yelled a shut up before going back to glaring at each other.

"I'm not doing it so you owe me, Ar-"

"Don't call me that-"

"I'm doing it because you need to rest. You've been through a lot, so let me just take your plate."

"Eren-"

"Give me the god damn plate or I'll take it from you." Eren warned, voice calm.

Marco had stopped eating at this food, Jean had pursed his lips and Armin looked taken aback. "Armin, listen. You are a guest to all of us. This isn't because I want to taunt you but I'm not going to play around." Eren continued, his arm still stretched out. After a moment of silence, Armin handed it to him but left the dining room without another word.

At this point, Jean stood, half done with his food and grabbed the plates from Eren, along with silverware and glasses. Eren had fought it but with both their grips on the china, Jean pulled them – making Marco cringe ("My wedding china!") - and looked at Eren. "Knock it off." He whispered. "Go to him and apologise."

"Why is it always me who has to apologise?" Eren mumbled and gave his friend the plates before walking out. He put his hands in his slacks pockets, his shirt hanging out. He hadn't even bothered with taking off his tie completely. He padded up the stairs to the guest room that Armin had been brought to along with his luggage. He was about to barge in when he'd heard sniffling coming from beyond the door.

Eren paused before he knocked onto the door with his knuckles. Inside the room, he heard Armin scoff. "...Go away, Eren." he mumbled and something was unzipped.

At his name, Eren sighed and leaned against the frame. "...Can I come in?" He asked softly and heard Armin sniffle again before barking a broken 'No'.

"Why? Armin...I need to talk to you."

"To say what?" Armin had bit before opening the door suddenly, making Eren stumble forward. He was surprised when Armin pointed a finger to his chest. "To say sorry? The last time you did that, you fucking broke my heart. You left me. You deserted me! And you took the last memories I could have had with my grandfather." He said, voice raising.

Eren looked down at the blond and glared. He grabbed his shoulders and shoved him into the room, closing the door with his foot. He was mad now, making Armin go just a little farther and making him trip over something, making both of them topple onto the bed, Eren over the blond. They had just missed the luggage that sat on the bed and would have hurt Armin's shoulder but neither of them cared at the moment.

"How dare you say something so stupid!" He barked and shook Armin a little. "I kept you from seeing your grandfather? Well, sorry for helping him work on something for you. For you, Armin. I left you? You left me first!" Eren could kick and scream and cry all he wanted but it wouldn't sway Armin, this much he knew; however the look that flashed in Armin's eyes wasn't of apologies or regret, but something he couldn't explain. He couldn't explain what type of tears that Armin had shining in his bright blue eyes.

It wasn't until Armin broke out with a sob that Eren realised that they were from loss. Armin had lost so much in his life, from his birth parents, to his guardian, to his best friends, and most of his life from hiding away at a college for three and a half years. Now with both of them at tweny-four, Armin was at a loss for what to do and Eren knew that feeling all too well.

Eren moved from Armin to pull him into his arms. He let the blond sob into his shoulder until his shirt was completely soaked in tears. He began to tear up too but this wasn't about his sorrows or his own personal problems.

It was about Armin.

It had always been about Armin.

How undeserving of all this shit Armin was, how lucky he was that he was well taught and brighter than a fucking lightbulb; how Armin had suffered silently for years between the bullies and his emotions and being alone with his grandfather always working and sleeping and drinking.

What had Armin ever done to deserve such a shitty hand with only a few aces? Eren would never know but as he held Armin, he knew he wasn't going to be that joker that would pop up by accident. He would be something good, just like he promised him all those years ago on that porch in the pouring rain.

Armin needed him. That was all that mattered in that moment.

And, even if hard to admit, Eren needed him too.


	12. PT 2 -CH 11: So kiss me

**Lol I've been making a lot of Author's Notes to you guys recently but shhh it's because I love you – but I also hate you guys because you're so smart as to what's going to happen next c; That or I'm just too much of a romantically cliché writer? Probably both xD**

**I just want to say thank you all for the new followers and favourites! I'm glad I'm able to keep you guys excited about every new thing that I post and it makes me so happy and loved! I really hope you guys like this chapter~ I can't wait to bombard you guys with like 4-5 more of them c;**

* * *

**Anyway, onward!**

**Part 2 – Chapter 11: So Kiss Me**

Eren had laid with Armin until the blond had calmed himself down, even though it had taken him about an hour to stop sobbing as hard as he was, hiccups and snot and all. Eren had only moved once to get his friend a box of tissues which were placed in the bedroom for Armin by Marco as a "just in case". He'd have to thank him later. Armin seemed grateful too, if not a little insulted – but only a little.

Eren held Armin close, a crushing hug to start with as Armin screamed at him, pounding his fists against the brunette's chest before he hugged the other back and shook violently – Marco had come to check in but when he saw Eren, he nodded and left as quietly as he came. It broke Eren's heart so badly to see Armin like this. He'd never seen him this upset, voice going raw after about ten minutes and eyes continuously producing an ocean that poured down red cheeks. He couldn't sniffle any more and it made him frustrated but he still clung onto Eren like a life force, like, despite everything that had happened, he was the only one who could keep him grounded. Eren didn't mind. He really didn't.

"Why did he have to go?" Armin had sobbed, and "I was so stupid..." Eren rubbed his back, trying not to cry still. He willed himself against it and subconsciously pressed a kiss to Armin's temple as they laid still otherwise. He swore in that instant that he wouldn't make Armin's life a living hell over the next week, that he'd be there from him even after this week had ended. He loved Armin and never wanted to hurt him. He wished he could tell him this now but then it would have seemed misplaced. Armin was probably over him anyway.

Armin had stopped sobbing after a long while and when he did, he closed his eyes and pulled a pillow from the head of the bed to bring it under his head. Eren watched him for a while and felt a little sad when Armin moved away a little but still close enough that if he wanted comfort, he could reach for it. Eren didn't protest, since he had kind of invaded Armin's safe space in the house. He should probably get up soon.

They were both silent, only hearing Marco and Leland down stairs playing, though it was very muffled. Eren was opening his mouth to speak when Armin interrupted his train of thought.

"...You...You're right." He had choked out, voice still rough. Armin wiped what tears had long dried off his cheeks for lack of anything better to do in this awkward situation. Eren furrowed his eyebrows a little and sighed. "...About?" He had asked when Armin closed his eyes. The blond sighed after a good while and shook his head before sitting up again and trying to busy himself with unpacking.

"You're right...I should have...come home." Armin told him, shrugging as he hung up his suit coat in the closet. It was the only thing in the dark closet and Eren thought that it was kind of a metaphor of how Armin probably felt at that moment. Eren sat up and didn't interrupt even though he wanted to say something stupid like, "Well duh". Probably a bad choice. He watched Armin straighten everything up before speaking again after taking his suitcase and setting it on a reading chair by the window.

"I should have...H-He told me that you came over every day. That you...asked about me, and that...He wanted me to come home. I should have been there." Armin said in a whisper, looking at his hands and fiddling with his nails. He was really at a loss and Eren continued to wait. It was when Armin was still quiet that Eren stood and stretched a little.

"You should have. But I'm not going to preach to you-"

''You didn't seem to mind doing it before I ended up bawling." Armin interrupted and shot Eren a small glare. He probably didn't have the energy for anything that looked more fierce. Eren rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"I'm sorry for that. You know I get angry fast." He had said softly, feeling bad when Armin's chin and lip trembled a little.

"I know that." Armin had said, shaking his head after he looked away from Eren. The brunette sighed and patted his shoulder. "...I should...get back downstairs. I think Marco wanted to treat you with some dessert."

"I'm not hungry." Armin had mumbled, sitting back on the bed, looking at his lap.

Eren watched him from the doorway and shook his head as Armin looked so small curled into himself like that. It made Eren feel guilty. He didn't want to think any of this was his fault but if you were to ask Armin, he'd probably have a different point of view. Sighing after a moment or two, the brunette smiled softly. "...Are you thirsty? Jean normally has a beer this time of night." He inquired, pointing to the door. At this, Armin looked up and he smiled a little.

"Do you remember the last time we drank together?" Armin asked and laughed softly. "Oh my god, you were playing strip twister with Reiner and got offended when he kept pushing you off so he could see your butt." This made Eren snort and Armin laughed a little harder, remembering.

Eren remembered everything about that night. How could he forget?

r favorite band(s)/artist(s)?

"So...is that a yes? I won't get drunk. I get clingy when I'm drunk." Eren laughed and Armin glanced up at him before dropping his gaze again. He knew that Armin remembered what he'd confessed that night in Jean's parent's bedroom but Eren was silent about it. He was so drunk and stupid and he hated that night more than anything because it was the night he'd pretty much driven his best friend away.

To his surprise through his thoughts, Armin stood and nodded. "It sounds nice. I think I might though...get drunk, I mean. But I hate beer." Somehow Armin fit that all before they walked out into the hallway. Eren laughed and hit Armin's shoulder playfully. "Why, do you like some fruity wine coolers?" He had joked but Armin had glared at him and it confirmed his suspicions with probably insulting him at the same time. Oops.

Eren had let Armin go down the stairs first and he smiled when Marco looked up at them and stood to welcome them in a small way. Eren watched as Armin went to go sit with Marco and ask to hold Leland; the brunette took this as a sign to grab the drinks. Upon walking in, he saw Jean on the phone, most likely with the colleague he was emailing at the burial, the other ear plugged as soon as Eren stepped in.

After a moment or two, Jean just hung up on the caller and sighed, rubbing his face with both hands. "...Beer?" He'd asked, running his fingers through his shitty two-tone hair. Eren nodded, sighing and they both grabbed the bottles. "Do we have any wine or coolers?" He had asked before popping the cap off with his thumb. As Jean was thinking, Eren took a long swig and it felt so nice as it numbed his fingertips.

"Yeah, we should. But you know you have to ask Marco or he'll fucking flip."

"Even with Armin?" Eren asked, curious. He didn't think Marco would especially with how he was feeling but Jean gave him a look and the shorter groaned. Together, they walked into the living room and Jean sat in his chair, finally taking off his tie and closing his eyes. Eren had sat on the couch next to Armin as the blond held Leland in his arms. He looked a lot happier holding the baby, looking into his eyes and kissing his cheeks.

"Oh, you guys, he's so precious, I just want to steal him." Armin had told Marco and Jean and that's when Marco took the baby back. Armin laughed because he thought Marco was kidding when he gave him a look but Jean and Eren hid from it.

"Hey, Marc, can Armin have some of your wine?" Jean had asked and Marco nodded, probably not hearing what he'd asked as he played with the baby and kissed him. Jean sighed and stood, showing Armin to the cabinet where they had some unopened bottles. Eren took the time to watch them leave, almost done with the drink in his hand now. Marco had unexpectedly scooted closer and poked Eren's ear, making the shorter brunette yelp.

"What was that for-"

"Shut up. Is he okay?" Marco asked quietly, bouncing Leland on his knee. The baby looked like he was going to puke. Eren shrugged and finished what he had left in the bottle before glancing at Marco who still waited patiently for an answer. "What?" He hissed. "I don't know. I let him cry, how am I supposed to know if that makes him all sunshine and rainbows again?"

"Well, how am I supposed to know?" Marco glowered and glanced toward the kitchen before continuing. "Eren, you know he still loves you, right?"

"No. But it doesn't matter because I love him too."

"I know that, but...maybe you should...try something? I don't know."

Eren looked at Marco and shook his head wordlessly as the two came back, Armin with one clean glass of the Chardonnay, Jean with two more bottles of beer and the glass for Marco perched in his palm. He handed it to Marco and kissed his nose before sitting down and letting Armin take his seat back. It was quiet for a moment and Armin spoke up. "Thank you guys for letting me come here. I...didn't want to go to the cabin." He had said softly and took a sip of the expensive wine. "And for the beautiful wine." Armin added after smacking his lips for a moment.

Marco just grunted and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, enjoy it. It cost Jean $150."

Jean gave Marco a look before going back to his own beer. Eren ignored all of them and went to bed early as he was going back to work in the morning. He gave everyone a goodnight and when he looked at Armin, he felt his heart flutter as the blond looked back at him.

"Goodnight, Eren." Armin said softly, giving him a slight smile and played with his glass. It was small, insignificant to outsiders, but to the both of them caught in that moment, without Jean and Marco, without their baby, it was a huge leap forward. This whole hour and a half had been a giant leap forward and Eren was glad that it was what it was.

Eren smiled back at him, fighting the urge to do something cheesy like kiss his forehead or his hand before he walked up the stairs before putting the bottle in the recycling. He prayed as he climbed into his bed with only his boxers that tomorrow would be better, that they would continue to make steps forward. He had ached for Armin for so long, for his best friend. He hoped that this would get him back.

* * *

The next morning, Eren made his return to work being greeted by the others. His boss had set him for paperwork and studying the blueprints of their latest project for an hour before letting Eren move onto measuring boards and pounding in nails. From nine to five, Eren worked in the sun, the weather being unusually warm for April, his coworkers cracking jokes and talking to him about their family lives; it seemed rehearsed, as if they'd practiced this to make Eren feel a little better about the death of Edward. They knew the man was the reason he was even into carpentry and that he was like a makeshift father, almost. They didn't know just how stressed Eren was about it all though, with Armin being under his roof. He refrained from speaking of him, since he'd sputtered some bad words about his ex-friend over a few beers when he found out about Mr. Arlert's passing. He regretted them now.

Eren was glad when the day ended. Being at work after so long made the day drag on and on and frankly he was just happy to come back home and rest for a good while, maybe with another beer and some late night television. Driving back home through the suburbs he looked out his window and watched children play with each other at parks and in front yards, missing the way the way he was so free. He remembered running through sprinklers with Armin and Mikasa in the summer, and the ice cream truck passing by once a week; they saved up all of the money they made from lemonade stands and the nickels they found in parking lots just for a cone or maybe two. He remembered when his parents took him to the ocean and Armin got to tag along because Edward said it was okay. Eren had never seen Armin so happy.

Where had the time gone? Where had their childhood disappeared to? Where was that blind happiness that everything was taken care of, that their parents were worry free and happy, that they would be the same way? Eren shook his head and tried not to think about it. As much as it hurt, what was in the past would stay there, and no good memory would fix what happened in high school. He was growing up; maybe Armin had already gotten past that stage.

With a swift, yet careful, turn into the driveway, Eren parked in front of his garage. He sat in his car for a while before moving to exit. Jean would probably be home late since he had a date with taking down a big corporation with his partner, and Marco and Leland were probably just coming home from day care. That left Armin home alone, unless he was visiting with anyone today. He doubted it, however, and trudged into the house, unlocking the door and kicking off his work boots. He had his jersey over his shoulder, wearing only his wife beater because of the heat. He set his keys in the decorative bowl by the door and after the gentle and sharp clang of the metal against the glass, there was silence. It wasn't odd hearing the house completely silent but it still made Eren deflate a little. He was at least hoping for some company.

Eren walked past the living room and up to his bedroom to change into some nicer jeans, since Marco would have his head if he got lubricant and saw dust onto his couch. He probably needed a shower too, since it sounded like Marco wanted to take them out tonight once Jean came home. Sore feet and muscles climbed up the stairs and dirty hands ran through brunette hair as Eren continued to listen for any other noise besides himself in the house. He was concentrating a little too hard on listening to his quiet surroundings that he was ironically startled by a soft talking coming from the guest bedroom Armin was staying in. The muffled voice sounded sad, almost worried and conflicted and Eren, being just as nosy as ever, pressed his ear against the door.

There was a silence for a moment or two, then a rustling from the bed. It was quiet again and the door was opened a little, Eren retreated for a moment but he looked at Armin, peeking one eye from the crack. Soon the door was opened completely and Eren noticed how Armin had his dress clothes on, light blue polo tucked into pressed and cleaned slacks, a cardigan over his shoulders - which seemed funny because it was almost seventy degrees outside and he was cold? Eren shook the question and gave a small smile. "Hey. How are you feeling?" He asked gently, slowly, as if Armin was a fawn about to trot away if he wasn't quiet.

Armin just looked up at him, arms crossed. The blond finally looked down to his feet and shook his head, shrugging. "My...grandfather's lawyer just called me about...oh, an hour ago." He sighed softly and walked back into the room. Eren took this a cue to follow and he continued inside when Armin didn't protest. The blond sat on the bed and stayed crossed armed. Eren waited for him to speak again.

"She, um...gave me his will. Everything is mine, Eren. He had few thousand dollars in a bank account, he gave me the truck, and...I get the house." Armin told him after a sigh and a crack in his voice. Eren nodded. What was he supposed to say? "That's great!" or "That sucks." Eren was at a loss for words. He'd realised he had no idea how to comfort Armin anymore. What could he say that would make him feel any better?

"...Eren, I don't...I don't know. I have a job south of state, I have a home...But I can't sell that house because..."

Eren was knocked from his own thoughts and watched as Armin shook, trying not to cry. The brunette knew that the other felt weak, that he'd already publicly grieved enough in the past twenty-four hours and that he was embarrassed. Eren knew that Armin didn't need comfort, that he needed time, but this was not a situation that could just go away when someone dealt with it alone. Armin didn't speak for a while and Eren sat by him on the bed, hoping the other wouldn't mind that his comforter would have some dust. He put his hand on Armin's shoulder and the blond pulled away almost immediately. Armin couldn't figure out what to do with himself and he stood and paced, trying to find the words that would fit easily through his throat and out his mouth and Eren was patient.

"...That house is the only thing...of him I have left." Armin whispered, a tear running down his cheek after a long while, clutching himself tightly. Eren wished he was the arms around his friend but stayed still on the bed, his only movement restricted to blinking and breathing.

After a moment, Eren nodded. "...Armin...have you gone back to that house yet?" He asked, standing when the blond looked over at him, surprised by his question. As Eren guessed he would, Armin shook his head. Eren didn't ask why and instead of prying he walked out of the bedroom. Before he left the doorway, Eren stood still and leaned against the door frame. It broke his heart that Armin didn't want to return and he knew exactly why. The brunette shook his head and sighed. "Your grandfather worked to fix it up so you had a place to come home to. I know I have no room to talk about your grandfather with you but I think that seeing that house was all he wanted."

Eren wasn't expecting Armin to agree to seeing the house and within moments, Eren changed into clean pants and a decent shirt and they headed out to the old house in the woods. The car trip was quiet and Eren didn't force conversation if Armin wasn't up to it. It wasn't his business how Armin felt and the blond made it clear.

They pulled up after about a half an hour and Eren shut off the engine, staying still in the car. He looked over at Armin, who looked almost numb at the sight of the house. It probably felt like a reminder, as if the place was just a memory, a ghost of what he used to be, a shell of a house. "...You guys...built a wrap-around porch?" Armin asked to Eren and stepped out, moving toward the porch. Eren followed after him, keeping his distance. He wanted Armin to take it all in on his own accord and when Armin found the key that was always hidden above the birdhouse by the porch, the brunette took leaps forward so he could go in with him.

After clearing his throat, Eren nodded and smiled a little. "Yeah...it was the first thing we did." He told him before Armin opened the door. The brunette watched his friend closely for any reaction and was surprised when Armin just stepped in, no change in features. It was odd seeing Armin so unresponsive toward it all. He walked around, going through the brand new kitchen, seeing the living room and greenhouse attachment. Eren waited downstairs as Armin searched the second floor, not hearing a peep from the blond. Maybe all of this was too much? He couldn't tell. Armin wasn't giving him any clues.

After what seemed like forever, Armin came down the stairs, silent. He looked like he'd been trying not to cry. He moved, still not saying much, pausing by the couch; Eren took a seat on a recliner as the blond opened his mouth. "...Wow." he whispered, looking around still. The brunette wasn't convinced that he was in awe, not like how he hoped when they were working on the house so long ago. Eren wanted the blond to look at it like it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Instead, he looked at it like he expected the changes. It made Eren a little agitated.

"Wow?" Eren asked, a slight laugh in his voice. "...Aren't you surprised?"

Armin shrugged and looked at the fireplace in the middle of the room. "I am." He whispered, moving around a little at a time, looking everywhere. "It's just...it seems so empty."

Eren nodded and looked at his hands. "...Well...you're here. It's not empty."

"Without grandfather, it is." Armin whispered and he leaned against the arm of the couch. "I...don't know what to think...or say."

Eren stood, surprising himself. Armin had stepped into his childhood home and hadn't said a positive word upon doing so. His grandfather worked hard to give Armin the life he had and Eren wasn't going to let it become nothing. This house wasn't just nothing. It was the best thing in the world and it frustrated Eren as to why this was such a difficult thing to enjoy.

"Say you love it, then. Say, you're surprised to see the way it is, how nice it looks! Say 'thank you' to your grandfather who slaved over for nearly two years just so you could have someplace you could call home again." Eren spoke before thinking, watching as Armin gave him a sideways glance. It turned hard before he turned away again.

"You don't know what it's like-" Armin began but Eren took a step forward and grabbed the blond's wrist, surprising Armin. Eren couldn't take this anymore.

"I don't know what it's like, no, but I have seen the people I love leave me! It's just about the same thing. When Grisha left mom, when your grandfather passed, when you left me! Armin, don't you ever say that to me."

"Have you lost all the family you have? Huh?" Armin barked back, taking his wrist from Eren's hold. Eren stood still, glaring down at Armin. The blond continued.

"Do you feel you have no where to go because you don't? Have you ever felt this lost? Eren, you had everyone. You had everything-"

"That's not true-" Eren tried to retort but Armin pushed him.

"It is! You had all of your friends in school, you had your mother, and Mikasa. For the longest time, I just had my grandfather."

"That is a load of shit! You had everyone, you had mom and Mikasa, and you had me!" Eren went back to his spot, Armin standing his ground. The brunette felt the weight of the situation and tears welled in his eyes. Clenching his fists again and relaxing them, Eren's lip trembled and he shook his head.

"...Armin, you never lost me." He whispered, voice unable to go above the quiet, pathetic sound it made before he began to sob. "G-God damn it, you...you never let me explain."

Eren didn't expect Armin to take the step between them and grip onto him as if he were the last person on earth, but he did just that and Eren threw his arms around his best friend in that instant. Eren buried his nose in Armin's hair and forced himself to calm down before he began crying, for joy, for the anguish he felt, for the love he wanted to show Armin. He shook his head and whispered, close to Armin's ear. The other sighed softly and Eren smiled softly. The tears didn't stop.

"...You...never let me say that I-I love you."

Eren waited for Armin to pull away but when the blond didn't, he gripped him tighter and nuzzled into his neck, "...I...I've loved you since day one. I...was so scared-"

"I know, Eren...I know." Armin whispered, running his hand down Eren's back and they stood like that for a while. No words were spoken, the mutual silence was all that they needed. They understood each other and Eren felt a glimmer of hope.

After Eren's tears dried, he pulled away and looked at Armin, who had also started crying a little. With rough hands, Eren reached to wipe them away, feeling unworthy of being this close to him. He'd always felt that Armin was this untouchable angel, so sweet and delicate. He made him feel like the whole universe was made of stars and flowers, that conversations weren't just words, but gateways. Armin made everyday feel like it was something special; and it was, because he was still around. Eren always hated to see those big, blue eyes fill up with so much sadness, and even when he'd never said two words to the boy when he first came to school with Armin, he knew that he was something special. It was why he fought so hard all of those years to keep the bullies away from him, to keep that beautiful face smiling as bright as the sun reflecting on the ocean.

Eren never wanted the spark that was Armin to go out.

They looked into each other's eyes for a good moment before Eren leaned in and pressed his lips softly against Armin's, his heart pounding in his chest. It felt like stars were exploding in his chest, like there was a new universe being created in his ribcage from the feeling; it was a high and he liked it. He closed his eyes for a moment and pulled away without a word. He didn't want to make it too long in case Armin didn't want it, and he definitely didn't want to confuse his love for lust.

Before Eren could pull away, the brunette was pulled forward by his collar and his lips collided with Armin's, both of them reacting instantly. It made Eren blush slightly to feel Armin pull him like that, to want him back. He didn't know what to do, except tilt his head and stroke Armin's soft cheek. He placed one hand on his waist and let the blond wrap his arms around his neck. After a good moment, Eren felt something wet on his hand and a tear had escaped from Armin's eyes. In an instant, the brunette pulled away and looked at the other, worried.

"...Are you alright?" He asked, wiping the wetness with his thumb. At this, Armin just glanced up at him and gave him a weak smile. It made Eren's heart break for a moment, however Armin laughed and wiped his eyes with his fingers.

"You've always made me so happy, Eren." He whispered, his voice cracking. "You..have always made me smile when I felt like...the world was ending. But...the world was just beginning."

"You've made me happy too." Eren whispered back, feeling like they didn't need their natural volume. It was just them and it was all that mattered. They didn't need anything but this. "I've been so lost without you, Armin. D-Don't fucking scare me like that again."

"I don't plan to." He whispered back and buried his head in Eren's shoulder. It was silent for another moment and Armin pulled away completely. The blond moved to the couch and continued to not smile. It made Eren a little more than uncomfortable. "...Hey, are you okay?"

Armin shook his head and laughed dryly. What he said next broke Eren's heart.

"...I don't...know how I feel about you." He confessed. Eren furrowed his eyebrows a little, in confusion.

"...What do you mean?"

It took a while for Armin to respond but when he did, it was like a slap in the face.

"You broke my heart once, Eren. You've done it a thousand times until I couldn't...piece it back together. How do I know i-it.." Armin sighed, lip trembling. He placed his face in his hands and Eren didn't move from his spot. He was paralyzed.

"Eren, you...can't promise me it won't happen again because you always fail-"

At this, Eren fell to his knees in front of Armin, taking both of his hands. He barely whispered a please before Armin pulled away again, standing. "No," The blond said, firmly and Eren lowered his head.

"...I made you a promise." Eren barely whispered, trying not to let the lump in his throat surface. "I-I promised that I...would make it up to you. You...you have to give me a chance-"

"I gave you a million chances-"

"Then one more!" Eren begged, standing again. He didn't care that he sounded needy. Everything that Armin was was what he breathed, what he lived for. He couldn't lose him again. "One more chance and you can be done with me. I'll never beg for you back, just..."

Armin watched him, sighing softly as he rubbed his temples. Eren didn't wait for a response and he pressed a kiss to Armin's forehead. "I will make it up to you, Armin. All of those years-"

"How?" Armin barked, pulling away slightly. "How will you do that?"

Eren was silent and he shook his head. "I'm...not sure yet. But you have to trust me." He begged, holding Armin's soft hand in his. Armin didn't look at him. "...Please."

Armin didn't say a word as he looked up at Eren and walked out of the house. Eren was alone.

* * *

Eren didn't see Armin the next morning when he woke up for work, the guest bedroom cleaned and the bed was made, not a scrap of evidence that Armin was even there. Maybe it'd been all a dream. He knew that Armin called Marco to pick him up from the house and Eren had gone out for a drink with Jean when he came home. After he returned, he hadn't seen Armin at all and now he knew why.

Marco and Jean didn't say anything about it and Eren didn't ask. It was all back to normal. However, it wasn't until late August that Eren was driving past the old house when he noticed that moving vans were in the driveway and he saw Armin carrying some of his luggage with the movers. It made Eren's heart skip a beat when he saw Armin enter the house.

Armin was back home.


	13. Pt 2-Ch 12: My Future is in Your Hands

**Part 2 – Chapter 12: My Future is in Your Hands**

When they were younger, there was a time at school where Eren had gotten into a fist fight with Jean over who was going to play with Armin that day; it was also the same day that they got a visit from police officer Hannes about fighting and were told the consequences of fighting when you are older. Eren had been scared shitless being told he could go to jail and while Jean hadn't been phased much, but Armin never let them fight after that, saying that he'll play with both of them whenever they want to. After that day, Eren had never expected to see officer Hannes again, especially at a personal level, but he was standing alongside his mom and Mikasa ready to go into the restaurant that Hannes had reservations for. Eren fiddled with his tie and fussed over his mother. He'd known for a few weeks that his mother and Hannes had met in a hardware store when she was trying to fix her sink and he had given her some tips about what not to do; as a result, they were now going on casual dates, and honestly, he was happy for his mother, but also really nervous. He didn't want her to get hurt again.

"Eren, please stop, I'm fine." Carla scolded him when he'd asked for the thousandth time if she wanted some gum or the deodorant from the car. Eren had been taken aback, holding out the mints for his mother, eyes widening slightly. She didn't look nervous, just irritated. She continued with a "Behave and be quiet" before entering with Mikasa at her side. Eren tried to pout at his sister for any consolance but she just gave him a look that said 'listen to mom, stupid'. The brunette just rolled his eyes but did as he was told.

When they arrived at the table Hannes was waiting at, Eren noticed that the man had barely aged since they had first met so many years ago. He looked clean in his neat suit and smiled immediately, standing when they were lead to the table. "Carla." He smiled and hugged her before kissing her cheek. His mother giggled like a little girl and it made Eren feel a little better about the situation as he watched whatever tension he thought his mother had melt away. He was too busy worrying about her that he missed the officer greet Mikasa with a kiss to her hand and when he moved to Eren.

"Eren?" Hannes laughed, knocking the young man from his thoughts, smiling at Hannes before taking the gesture to shake hands. "God, I haven't seen you since you were eight. Has it really almost been twenty years?" He asked, gripping Eren's hand firmly before helping Carla into her chair by pulling it out. At the question, Eren laughed and helped Mikasa with hers.

"Ha, um, well, almost. I'm only twenty-four." He laughed and Hannes tossed his head back when he sat down and laughed.

"That's right. It was really that long ago?" The man asked and poured Carla a glass of wine.

"It seems that it has been, sir." Eren nodded, placing his napkin on his lap. Maybe tonight wouldn't be so tense after all.

"Eren, please. You may call me Hannes. Sir was my father."

The waitress didn't move to their table until about twenty minutes after they were seated, but no one seemed to care as Hannes made Carla feel young again and Eren and Mikasa got to spend time with their mother and the wonderful man who seemed to stumble into her life. Eren honestly never would have guessed that Hannes was in the national guard, a recovering alcoholic and an author of his own biography. "It never sold many copies, but it looks pretty on a resume" he had commented and Mikasa suddenly laughed.

At the end of the night, Eren drove Mikasa and Carla home, the car quiet as they listened to the air conditioner and the radio playing "an all eighties Saturday night line-up!" as promised. With a sigh, Eren drove past Armin's house, glancing out of the corner of his eye. He saw that Armin was on the porch, reading under his porch light, more than likely listening to the frogs croaking in the pond half a mile away, slapping at mosquitoes. He was at peace, even if Eren knew this really wasn't the place Armin wanted to be. He made do and Eren hadn't spoke to him since April.

In passing, Marco had mentioned Armin being back in town as if he were trying to nudge Eren to go see him. He didn't dare if he knew he wasn't wanted, especially since the last time they saw each other he threw himself at his best friend. It confused Eren, because Armin had said those nice things about Eren making everything better, about how he made the world seem less bleak – but at the same time, he didn't know how he felt about him? Wasn't it obvious? He knew Armin still cared for him, but it was so baffling to think about. He left and came back just as suddenly, without word or warning. He almost wondered if Marco and Jean knew before he did.

"Are you okay, honey?" Carla asked, her voice tired. Eren almost jumped out of his skin, looking at his mother. He didn't even realise they were home until his eyes focused into the back ground and saw the old house, in front of him a cream garage door with vines growing on it's outside. With a smile, Eren nodded and turned off the car. Mikasa was asleep in the back, leaning on her window, and they listened to her snore for a while. Eren eventually cleared his throat and frowned.

"Ma, I haven't...spoken to Armin since the funeral." Eren blurted the statement, looking into his mother's soft eyes. He didn't know why he said it, but he did and it made his heart hurt. He continued anyway. "Ma, I'm...I'm in love with him. I am so...so in love with him and...he wants nothing to do with me...and I know why but he won't give me a chance to clear my name."

Eren felt even worse now, almost sick to his stomach. Why was he telling his mother this? She'd practically known there was this tension between the boys since they were in eleventh grade. Carla watched Eren for a while before nodding. She took his hand and rubbed his knuckles with the pad of her soft thumb, then she smiled and looked ahead. "Eren, I think you should tell_ him_ this. Does he know?"

Eren was silent as he looked at his lap. Did he know? Did Armin really have any idea how much he loved him? No, probably not. He didn't give him the chance to say anything, really. As a result, to answer his mother's question, he shrugged lazily. "I don't think so. Not really. No." He said softly before smiling weakly. At this, Carla squeezed his hand.

"Promise me something, Eren?" She asked and her son nodded. With a shaky breath, Carla continued, as strong as she could make her voice, "Tell him you love him. Even if it breaks your heart, even if things are never the same. It will make you feel better. You'll never ask 'what if'. You'll know if it's true. But honey, I don't think he _doesn't _know."

Eren was silent for a a good while. He loved his mother, but he didn't think she had any idea how much Armin probably didn't know; and if Armin did know, why wasn't he a little more clear about it? With a smile, Carla kissed Eren's forehead before unbuckling. "It's late, sweetie. You'd better get home." She said, patting his hand. "Try not to think too much about it."

Eren nodded and kissed his mother's cheek before she opened the door. "Thanks, mom." He whispered as she said her goodnight and tapped on the window to wake up Mikasa. She jolted awake and groaned as she got out without saying goodnight and slamming the door. Eren waved goodbye when they got to the porch before backing up and leaving the driveway to go home.

The advice his mother gave him rang through his ears and he felt it pierce his heart, especially when he had to pass Armin's house to go back into town. Armin had moved inside and the lights were out except in his old bedroom where they stayed lit even as Armin closed the curtains. Everything that was wrong with Eren was Armin, but he knew the solution. It may have not been the best time to figure it out, or to act on it, for that matter, but Eren brought the truck to a halt in the road before backing up and turning into Armin's driveway. He turned off the lights and engine and sat there for a good moment as Armin moved around in his room. God, this is so creepy, Eren thought to himself with a rub to his temples. He shouldn't be here.

No matter his silent regrets and his embarrassment, Eren didn't feel himself get out of the truck as he marched with some random spark of courage that had crawled up his ass and got him to where he was now. His hand inched toward the door bell and it made him almost suffocate with the worry that Armin probably didn't want to see him. As a result, as fast as the courage came and nestled it's self inside of Eren, it dissipated, leaving him standing in the hot August air in his tuxedo, tie loosened around his neck, heart beating faster the longer he stood there.

Come on, Eren, he told himself before swallowing and ringing the doorbell, leaving his finger on the button longer than he should have. He didn't want to overstep his boundaries, so he would ring his doorbell once and if he didn't answer, he would leave. He would leave and not bother Armin again, unless he came to visit or if they ran into each other somewhere, which, now, was more than likely. Within the house, Eren could hear Armin climbing down the stairs, a soft 'coming' emitting from beyond the door.

Suddenly, Eren felt very panicky, feeling as if he definitely shouldn't be there at that moment. Before he could turn on his heel and bolt for his truck, Armin had opened the door and the brunette felt his heart sink as he watched Armin pale under the porch light. Eren didn't smile, couldn't do anything but hold his breath and stand stupidly in place.

"Eren." Armin breathed. He was in a long gray t-shit with his plaid boxers, blond hair tied into a pony tail at his neck. He sounded surprised but more so tense to see his ex- best friend at his door step at - what was it now? Almost midnight? Eren relaxed a little because he felt that he had to, like Armin was a fawn he could scare away with the wrong move and gave a stupid grin, embarrassed at himself as Armin crossed his arms. "What are you doing here?" He asked, not rudely, but not really in the mood, whatever mood that was supposed to be.

Eren flushed and rubbed the back of his neck as he sighed. He really should leave. "U-Uh...I was just... in the neighborhood and...you- you're back in town now?" He stumbled on his words, rocking back in forth on the balls of his feet. God, he was so stupid! He could smack his forehead right now.

Armin sighed after a moment and shook his head. Eren felt his heart sink. "Eren, I don't think this is the appropriate time to have a conversation." He said softly. He held no expression on his soft face and though it worried Eren, he was silent. The brunette nodded and inhaled before agreeing. "Yeah...it's probably not."

They were quiet for a moment, listening to the frogs croak and an owl hoot farther down the dirt road. Eren watched Armin and Armin watched him back. It was tense under Armin's calculating eyes, probably trying to search him to see if he meant any ill-intent or any unwanted affections again. It was a good while before the blond took a step back into the house and Eren felt his body run cold.

"Armin, before I...go..." He started slowly, watching as Armin moved his hands from his chest to his sides. He didn't go any farther into the house, which was a good sign. He took it with a grain of salt, however. He played with his finger nails but Eren knew the blond was listening. "...I'm glad you're back...and I'd like to have dinner with you some night. Just as friends." He added the last part quickly, raising his hands in defense before Armin could take anything the wrong way.

It seemed like an eternity before Armin looked up and gave him a slight smile. It didn't look condescending or harsh, just surprised. He crossed his arms again and laughed a little tensely. "..Eren, you...never cease to surprise me sometimes." He whispered as he moved the bangs from his face. At this, Eren shrugged, not sure if he should take it as a compliment. He didn't make a peep, afraid he'd say the stupidest thing and cause Armin to slam the door in his face.

Armin continued after a moment. "That sounds really nice." He smiled, leaning against the door frame. Eren felt like he didn't hear him correctly, giving him a look. Armin sighed and laughed a little. "I said, I'd like that." He nodded and Eren felt his heart swell a little at the comment. Armin had said yes. He didn't slam the door in his face.

"...Armin, thank you." He smiled softly, nodding. "I promise you..you won't regret this."

Armin shrugged and nodded. "I hope not, Eren. How about tomorrow night at seven?" He asked, moving to go back inside. At the suggestion, Eren nodded and smiled. "I-I'd love to. I-It's a date."

"But just as friends." Armin added and Eren nodded even more.

"Yes, yes of course." He laughed and began walking off the porch. "Um...goodnight Armin." He whispered softly and Armin waved a little bit.

"Goodnight."

Then the door closed on that note, and Eren felt like he could fly. That wasn't so bad. It was civil, it was clean and quiet. It wasn't until the next day at seven P.M. that he got nervous.

Eren had paced the living room for hours, making Marco increasingly irritated. He hadn't been able to get Leland to sleep because of his friend walking around like a dumb ass with a thumb up his nose. He knew that Eren was nervous but he honestly didn't give a crap.

"What if he's just playing his mind games? He's done that before. Remember when he got me into that dress at your birthday party when we were fourteen?"

"What if he hates me?"

"What if he poisons me-"

Eren didn't dare to shut up and it pissed Marco off to the point of standing and gripping Eren's shoulders. "Eren, two things!" He half shouted, half growled. Eren had paused and looked up at Marco with wide eyes. He looked really scary. "Y-Yes?"

"Shut. Up." He glared and let him go. "Honestly, why are you so worried? You know Armin." Marco went back to sitting down and holding Leland as the baby chewed on a plastic rainbow ring. Eren was silent as he watched his friend go back to sitting, running fingers through his hair. He shrugged and sighed, sitting down by Marco, but not without bouncing his leg on the pad of his foot.

"Marco..I don't _know _Armin any more." He whispered, leaning forward. His crisp white shirt shifted a little as he crossed his arms over his knees, looking at a spot on the floor. The grain looked suspiciously like Coach Erwin Smith and his stupid eyebrows. He shook his head and placed his hands on his face when Marco cleared his throat.

"Of course you do. He hasn't changed." Marco offered softly but at this Eren groaned.

"He has! Maybe not to you but...with me he has." Eren grunted in a frustrated manner. He didn't stand again but continued moving his leg. Marco huffed and patted his back. Eren didn't think that Marco knew what to say. They sat in silence for a good while and watched Leland play.

"Are you going to bring him flowers?" Marco asked and Eren shrugged and laughed.

"He has a garden. That would be a little redundant." He confessed.

"Didn't know you knew that word." Marco teased and Eren punched his shoulder lightly, making his friend laugh out loud.

"Anyway-" Eren rose his voice when Marco wouldn't stop giggling. "-I was thinking of bringing over some wine. Ugh, I don't know. Does all of this sound too romantic?" He asked, huffing. At this, Marco shrugged and smiled softly.

"I don't know. With the context of the situation, it seems like this night could go either way." Marco said simply, kissing Leland's face. His bright eyes shined back up at him and Eren watched both of them. With a laugh, Eren asked, 'What do you mean?"

"Well, I mean, I've known since day one that Armin has had the biggest crush on you, Eren. Before he even kissed you. Before you messed it up at the homecoming party-"

"I don't like thinking about that, Marc, you know that-"

"-Regardless, he still feels that way about you, Eren. He is not stone cold because you messed with him, and unintentionally, I know. He will be open to you if you give him a reason to let you in and this could be it." Marco continued and gave Eren a sweet smile. "Just make sure you keep in mind what will let you back in."

Eren watched Marco for a good while and nodded, smiling. It made him feel a little bit better. He sincerely hoped that Marco was right, or he'd punch him.

After a while, Eren stood back up and finished dressing, deciding not to go too casual. He decided against a tie, unbuttoned his collar and rolled up his sleeves to his forearms and tucked his shirt into his slacks. He tried not to use too much cologne, made sure to brush his teeth and left about thirty minutes to seven so he could go to the liquor store and buy a nice bottle for the both of them. Thinking back to what he asked Marco about the gesture being too romantic, he decided to say fuck it. Friends gave other friends red wine when they felt like it, right? God he hoped so.

It took a while, it seemed, to get to Armin's house from the store, which was normally just a ten minute drive with how fast he drove. It was probably just the nerves though, if he rationalized it, but there was no room for that right now as he now stood at Armin's door like he had almost twenty-four hours prior. Why was he so nervous? This was just Armin, Marco did have a point. It still just felt so different.

Eren rang the doorbell and held the wine in his hands, biting his lip a little until he could taste a little blood. He was busy looking at his shoes when Armin had answered the door, in a blue polo and khaki trousers. He had his hair pulled back and the smell from the kitchen was breathtaking as he smelled chicken and garlic. Eren, despite wanting to run from sight somewhere deep inside, smiled brightly at Armin and nodded. "Good evening." He had said and Armin had smiled back before opening the door a little wider.

"Good evening yourself." He laughed and invited Eren in with a simple hand movement. Eren nodded and handed Armin the paper bag as he entered, slipping off his shoes. "Here, for you." He told him and when Armin took the bag he wrinkled his nose a little bit. "Whatever for?"

"To welcome you home." Eren had said simply as he stood straight again after he'd taken off his shoes and placing them neatly by the door. Eren put his hands in his pockets as Armin stared at the bottle, his smile disappearing.

"'Welcome home' is kind of funny, huh?" Armin mumbled quietly, a sad smile gracing his lips. He looked up and led Eren into the kitchen where he had water boiling over. Eren stood awkwardly by the island and watched as Armin tended to what he had going on. It seemed like a lot but he didn't dare intervine.

"I suppose so." He said softly. "This...probably isn't what you wanted out of life, Ar."

At this, Armin shrugged, adding raw angel hair noodles to the water. "I mean, it's not what I expected, but that's life." He smiled a little and leaned against the counter. Eren noticed how he barely made eye contact with him but he couldn't make Armin look into his eyes. The air became a little tense but Eren cleared his throat a little before speaking again.

"S-So...Marco said you have a teaching job?" Eren tried and Armin smiled a little.

"Yes, at our old school."

"Wow. That will definitely be something. What were you going for again?"

"History and Geography. I'm taking the positions in the high school. I don't get a technical break until lunch but that will be just fine." Armin told him, smiling at Eren. "Yeah, the um...new principal called me back and immediately hired me because I was in the school roster. I actually saw Coach Erwin and Mr. Rivaille."

"Oh wow, those old men are still working?" Eren laughed and Armin nodded, laughing with him.

"Most definitely. I asked the same thing and they greeted me with open arms. I'm excited. Apparently Dr. Zoe is still there sometimes. She was transferred to the community college though."

"That old bat?"

"Yeah. She's still teaching people useless things about lizards and worms."

This caused both of them to laugh really hard and it eased the air quite a bit with just that. After a good while, Armin let Eren help with the food, telling him to stuff the chicken with the feta cheese and spinach he had mixed up. The brunette did just that as he watched Armin go over to the table and begin to set the table. Eren blushed as he noticed that the setting sun illuminated Armin's silhouette in the sweetest way, making him look more angelic than he already did. No, he thought, staring just a little while longer as delicate hands placed his grandparents' wedding china on the lace table cloth. The light is just illuminating his Grace.

Eren placed the chicken back in the oven under Armin's instruction as the blond drained the pasta noodles and placed them back into the pan before mixing in the sauce, sprinkling the top. He brought the pot over and began plating, placing the chicken breast on top when they were done. Eren kept himself busy by pouring the wine in their glasses as Armin seated himself and placed his cloth napkin on his lap. The brunette sat down the wine bottle next to the salt and pepper shakers and the powdered store-brand Parmesan. It felt normal and sweet.

"It looks wonderful, Armin." Eren told him as he sat and followed Armin's example by placing the napkin in his own lap. At this, his friend smiled and rose his wine glass a little before taking a sip. "You helped."

They ate in silence, but it somehow wasn't as tight of a silence as Eren had thought it would be. He didn't even think they would have gotten that far without one of them walking out. He was happy it stayed like this though. Eren plated for seconds and after they finished, Armin took the dishes to place beside the sink. "Would you like help with dishes?" Eren asked, picking up their wine glasses, Armin taking his after a moment. The blond shrugged.

"I thought we could go sit in the living room?" He suggested and Eren nodded silently as Armin left. He smiled a little and began to follow as they sat on the couch, the memory of the last time he was in this room panging against his heart. He became embarrassed but Armin didn't notice.

They somehow got to the point in talking where they weren't talking about school or jobs, or anything. Eren listened to Armin talk about how he wanted to travel the world next summer while school was out and where he would go and what he would do. "I want to back pack across Europe and take trains everywhere. I plan on going swimming in the oceans at least once at every coastal country I get to, no matter how cold. I definitely want to go to Africa and see the Elephants and go on safaris. From there, I'll go to Australia and up to the Asian countries, then back home."

Eren had always listened to Armin's rambles about going on adventures, but he knew that with his grandfather's money, that's what he wanted to do. Eren just smiled and nodded when he was asked a question, watching how Armin's eyes lit up how they always had before. Maybe Marco was right; Armin hadn't changed a bit.

The boys were knocked out of their state of conversation when the grandfather clock rang eleven times. Eren stared at the thing and then down at his wine glass. How many glasses had they had now? Eren couldn't remember.

"...It's late. I should go." He said softly, looking at Armin. He had no idea how close the blond was when he turned, almost jumping. When had they sat so close? At Eren's statement, Armin nodded and swirled the little that he had in his glass, smiling at it. "If you must."

"I'm sorry. I had a wonderful time." Eren mumbled, setting the glass on the coffee table. He didn't move from his spot, however. Armin copied his movement and set down his glass. With his free hand, he placed his hand on Eren's knee and rubbed his thumb on the cloth before sitting back. "I'm glad." He whispered softly, his breath unintentionally hitting Eren's ear. It made the brunette flush and he sat back against the couch and looked over at Armin. They were literally inches away from each other, noses could have touched with one movement.

Realizing this, Eren swallowed and quirked one corner of his mouth upward before looking into Armin's eyes. "You didn't drink that much. But then again, you've always been a lightweight." He commented, his own hand covering Armin's and taking it to lace their fingers together. Armin laughed at the comment and shook his head. "No, I think _you've_ had too much."

"Even so..." Eren whispered, leaning a little closer. Millimeters away now. "We shouldn't let this happen. We may regret it again."

"Who said anything about regrets?" Armin inquired and looked up into Eren's eyes again, half lidded now.

Eren would be damned if he missed this opportunity and he'd be damned if he took it. Armin was testing him and it was difficult to read which answer was the wrong one. Was there a wrong answer? If he left, he would answer Armin's inquiry about any possible relationship, and if he stayed, it would do the same. Eren licked his lips before sighing. "..What do you want from me?" He whispered, almost sadly. He didn't meant to speak but when he did, Armin shrugged.

"I'm not quite sure." He confessed.

That was the breaking point. Whatever space was between them -who was calculating anyway?- was closed and Eren pressed his lips against Armin's gently, releasing Armin's hand to cup his cheek. He breathed evenly through his nose as Armin wrapped his arms around Eren's neck, pulling him back onto the couch. Eren was hesitant to pull away, and when he did, Armin tugged him back down, lips pressing against his own a little harder. He couldn't believe what he was feeling but it bloomed in his chest and didn't stop until it engulfed him completely.

Maybe what this was would only last the night, but he didn't care. It was happening and, to Eren, that was all that mattered.

* * *

WOW SORRY THIS WAS SO LATE GUYS ;; ;; I had surgery (nothing bad) a few days ago and work has been kicking my bum. I almost lost interest in this story for a while but I think this chapter my help things along. Also sorry no smut for you c: Maybe later, definitely in other things I plan on writing.

Thank you guys so much for the support while I was away~ I love you all so much. Don't forget I am on tumblr under well-hello-bright-eyes! Come visit me~


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